It’s no surprise that your social life can take a backseat when you become a mom, even with constant communication through texts, phone calls, and social media. But everybody wants to see their friends once in a while, and sometimes that requires getting a little creative and finding out how to make time for a social life. We’d all love the freedom to plan a weekly date or see our friends on a consistent schedule, but with work, spouses, kids’ activities, school functions, and a million other responsibilities, it can feel impossible. However, many moms have found a way to make time for their friends — and it often involves some multitasking.
I chatted with several moms of different ages and a wide variety of kids’ ages to find out how they’re all hanging out with their friends, and honestly, I was surprised by the frequent “habit-stacking” some of these moms did. Not every mom has a standing lunch date or girls’ night out with her friends; a lot of them are squeezing in a social life like you squeeze in extra steps at the grocery store. They invite their friends to run errands with them, they get together to meal prep for the week, they make their workouts a friend date — they’re making their social lives feel more organic in a way that I find super inspiring.
So, you don’t have to get out a calendar or throw some fancy Instagram-worthy party or even plan very much to enjoy your friends’ company. Take some inspiration from these 11 ideas and see how you can squeeze in just one 20-minute in-person conversation with your friend. Maybe while you’re both grocery shopping?
Schedule it.
“We just make it a non-negotiable. We have a standing dinner date every month, and it’s just always on the calendar. That way, there’s never a scramble to get babysitters or alert spouses or whatever — it’s like a kid’s baseball practice or something. We just don’t miss it.” — Heather R., mom of two
Run errands together.
“My best friend and I have really wild schedules. We both have three kids involved in activities, so we’re just constantly bouncing back and forth from one place to another and relying on voice notes to communicate. But whenever one of us has a day of running errands — like going to the grocery store, stopping by Sam’s Club, even a doctor’s appointment — we’ll call the other to see if they can join. It doesn’t always work out, but when it does, there’s nothing better than just riding along with your bestie and an iced coffee… and no kids.” — Taylor H., mom of three
Go to the gym together.
“I needed a gym buddy, and two of my friends started joining me. We meet for a fitness class once a week and then do weights and cardio together another day a week. It’s the best. It keeps me motivated to go to the gym, and it keeps our friendship healthy.” — Grace W., mom of two
Skip girls’ nights for girls’ mornings.
“We started having ‘girls’ mornings’ instead of ‘girls’ nights’ and it changed everything. We have young kids, so we just meet at each other’s houses once a week at like 8 a.m. We figured we’re up already, might as well hang out. We change houses each week, and whoever’s hosting just provides coffee and milk/juices for the kids, and the one coming over brings a box of doughnuts. It used to be chaotic with the kids making it impossible for us to hang, but now they’re so used to the routine, too, they just grab a doughnut and run off to play. And then nobody misses a nap time or whatever else they have to do during their day.” — Molly Y., mom of two
Meal prep together.
“Every Sunday, my best friend and I alternate houses and meal prep for the week together. We make our breakfasts, prep any dinner stuff that we can, do some baking, whatever we need. Our kids are good friends, too, so they play together, and we get a couple of hours to just prep for the upcoming week and chat. It’s my favorite day.” — Sarah P., mom of two
Get a hotel room.
“My friends and I get a hotel room together every few months and make it like one big reunion for a weekend. We honestly don’t do anything except go out to eat and watch movies, but it’s nice to just completely decompress and not have to deal with kids or house stuff or any other responsibilities except hang out with each other.” — Jessica P., mom of three
Join the mom groups.
“I struggled a lot with my social life changes after having a baby, so I forced myself to join some local mom groups. There were a couple near me, including a mommy and me music class, and making myself show up and be social with other moms really helped. I ended up getting close with two of them, and now our mom group time is really just friend time.” — Dana T., mom of one
Get over having a perfect house.
“I had to get over needing a ‘perfect house’ for hosting, and that changed everything. Now I’m constantly telling friends to come over because I just know that my social life battery being filled is more important than my friends seeing a perfectly vacuumed house. And they’re just so grateful to hang out, too; they don’t care about any mess.” — Nicole K., mom of two
Have a consistent FaceTime date.
“We have a standing FaceTime date — every Thursday at 7 p.m. We each go to somewhere quiet in our house, make a snack, and just talk. The FaceTime keeps us engaged and keeps us from trying to do other things so we can fully relax and connect.” — Laura T., mom of three
Become friends with your neighbors.
“Sometimes having good friends is like 80% proximity to that friend. So you’re going to have to learn how to be friends with your neighbors. Then you can see them all the time, go on walks, meet up in the yard with the kids, whatever. Becoming friends with my neighbors is the only way I see any friends at all.” — Hayley T., mom of two
Watch sporting events together.
“My husband is a huge sports fan and loves watching games at our house, so we pretty much have people over every other week or so to watch something. Even if nobody’s into what’s on, they just BYOB and bring a snack to share, and we all have a great time. It’s sort of a guaranteed way to see people.” — Rachel P., mom of two
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