Despite growing awareness and resources for men’s mental health, something still isn’t working. Men make up nearly 80% of all U.S. suicides, with the male suicide rate about 4 times higher than the female rate, yet only about one third of all people in therapy are men.
Therapy is more accessible, self-help content is everywhere, and conversations about masculinity and well-being are more open than ever. Mental health apps are booming, and it’s clear that talking about mental health is no longer taboo. Yet, many men continue to feel lost, disconnected, and unfulfilled.
The issue isn’t just about mental health awareness, it’s about engagement. Historically, many men have struggled to connect with traditional approaches to healing and growth because those methods don’t always resonate with them. Often, they miss key elements that drive men toward real improvement and transformation.
The Crisis Behind the Numbers
In 2023, just 17 percent of American men saw a mental health professional, while 28.5% of women did. Even more concerning, 77% of men experience symptoms of common mental health problems such as anxiety, stress or depression, but 40% of men have never spoken to anyone about their mental health.
Men may struggle with mental health issues including depression, suicidal thinking, and addictions, but they are far less likely to seek help than are women. This may be partially because men can often brush off or bottle up difficult emotions rather than process them. Research from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America shows that over 6 million men suffer from depression per year, but male depression often goes underdiagnosed.
If you’re a man struggling with mental health, know that you’re not alone. Start by exploring our therapist directory to find professionals who specialize in working with men. Learn more about breaking down barriers to mental health care.
The 4 Key Missing Pieces in Men’s Mental Health
1. Real-World Challenges Foster Mind-Body Integration
Men often process emotions differently from women. While open dialogue is important, many men engage more deeply when they are doing rather than just talking. Integrating mind and body is crucial for real and lasting change, and for many men, physical exertion, high-stakes problem-solving, and pushing limits create mental clarity in ways that sitting in an office or reading a book just doesn’t.
Challenge-based growth isn’t about avoiding emotions but confronting them in real-time. Activities such as:
- Endurance training – marathons, triathlons, or Spartan races
- Martial arts or boxing – developing discipline and confidence under pressure
- Cold exposure and breathwork – building mental resilience through controlled stress
- Tactical training – problem-solving under pressure with real consequences
- Wilderness survival challenges – testing adaptability and resourcefulness
These activities activate the nervous system in ways that rewire the brain for enhanced resilience. Resilience is fundamental to confidence, and together, they form a self-reinforcing cycle that strengthens the neural pathways driving values-driven action. The more a man pushes his limits, the more he builds trust in himself, transforming challenges into catalysts for growth rather than barriers to progress.
2. Brotherhood and Shared Struggle
Studies show that loneliness is peaking among young men. A May 2025 Gallup analysis found that 1 in 4 U.S. males aged 15-34 (25%) said they felt lonely “a lot of the day”. Many men experience deep loneliness but often don’t recognize it. Society’s definition of masculinity emphasizes strength, self-reliance, and emotional restraint, leaving men with limited avenues for emotional support.
However, brotherhood through shared struggle can provide a vital space for men to break through those walls. In military units, sports teams, and other high-pressure environments, men face challenges that require them to rely on one another. These shared experiences forge bonds that go beyond surface-level connections, ones rooted in trust, mutual respect, and vulnerability.
Men’s therapy groups can be particularly effective. As a psychotherapist who has worked with men in various settings for over 30 years, these groups demonstrate men’s ability to be vulnerable and to openly share deep emotional struggles, their compassion and empathy with each other.
This is why cohort-based groups can be so impactful for healing. At a recent healing retreat for veterans, law enforcement officers, and undercover operators, I witnessed this firsthand. What began as a simple outdoor excursion turned into a bouldering challenge, with physical obstacles that required teamwork. As the men navigated the difficult terrain together, some with visible injuries, they quickly learned they couldn’t go it alone. Offering hands, shoulders, and encouragement to one another, the physical challenge became an opportunity to break through emotional barriers.
That night, the group shared openly in a way they hadn’t all week, experiences, emotions, and struggles that had been kept locked away. The discomfort of the physical challenge had dissolved the guards built around their vulnerability. This was more than just a display of physical strength, it was an exercise in emotional openness and connection.
Ready to experience brotherhood? Learn about men’s therapy groups and find group therapy options in your area. Read more about the benefits of men supporting men in therapeutic settings.
3. Reclaiming the Past to Forge a New Masculinity
For generations, men transitioned into adulthood through structured rites of passage, trials that tested their strength, resilience, and character. These experiences didn’t just mark a transition; they instilled identity, purpose, and belonging. From warrior initiations to the Japanese Misogi tradition of purification through extreme challenge, these rituals provided men with real, tangible experiences that shaped their understanding of themselves and their role in the world.
Today, these rites have vanished, leaving many men to navigate an evolving world without a clear roadmap. Modern masculinity is caught between conflicting expectations, be strong, but be vulnerable; provide, but don’t chase status; lead, but don’t dominate. The pressure to succeed in work, relationships, and personal growth can feel overwhelming, yet traditional outlets for guidance and transformation are scarce.
I speak with men daily who are struggling to “find themselves.” Despite outward success, career, family, stability, many feel disconnected, lost, or unfulfilled. We live in a time where masculinity itself is under constant scrutiny. With so much contention over what it means to “be a man,” young boys and men struggle to develop an identity that helps them overcome life’s challenges and lead a meaningful life. Yet masculinity isn’t something to reject, it’s something to reclaim and redefine.
By learning from the past and applying it to today’s realities, men can create a version of masculinity that honors tradition while evolving to meet modern challenges. This means dismantling harmful expectations, embracing personal strengths, and forging a path that integrates emotional depth, purpose-driven action, and brotherhood.
4. Actionable Resilience, Not Just Reflection
Men often anchor their self-esteem in their work and may be uncomfortable with traditional therapy approaches that focus primarily on talking about feelings. Men aren’t struggling because they don’t feel emotions, they’re struggling because they don’t know how to channel them effectively. Traditional mental health approaches often focus on introspection, but many men need an action-based framework to apply resilience in real life.
Reflection alone isn’t enough; it must be paired with committed action to create meaningful change. Real resilience is built under stress, in motion, and in real-time. Whether through breathwork, endurance challenges, or skill-based problem-solving, men must train under pressure to regulate emotions while taking action.
Learning to control breathing under physical and mental strain, push through discomfort, and reframe challenges in the moment builds resilience that talk alone can’t replicate. This process also teaches men how to communicate their feelings, verbally, physically, and emotionally, in ways that don’t harm themselves or others.
Without structured challenges that simulate real-life pressure, emotional regulation remains theoretical. However, when men practice expressing emotions while engaged in movement and challenge, they develop the ability to respond rather than react, assert themselves without aggression, and express themselves without withdrawal.
A Better Approach to Men’s Mental Health
For real transformation, men need structured challenges, strong connections, and actionable resilience training, not just conversation. This doesn’t mean therapy or introspection aren’t valuable; they are, and working with a therapist who uses a goal-oriented approach and who places therapeutic goals in the context of creating a better quality of life may help some men see the value in doing just that.
But for many men, these tools become far more effective when paired with real-world experiences that push limits and tangibly build resilience, engaging both body and mind.
The key to change is taking deliberate, proactive steps. This means taking committed steps toward the larger goal. Instead of waiting for change to happen, men can actively seek out hard things, intentional physical or mental challenges that force them to adapt and grow. This might look like:
- Train for an endurance event — marathon, triathlon, or Spartan race to push both body and mind
- Join a martial arts or boxing gym — develop discipline, confidence, and focus under pressure
- Cold exposure & breathwork challenge — cold plunges or focused breathing programs to build mental resilience
- Attend an immersive retreat — step away from daily life to challenge yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally with a cohort of others with similar backgrounds
- Take on a team-based challenge — obstacle course race, tactical training, or wilderness survival that demands problem-solving under pressure
- Unplug & reset — commit to a 24-hour technology detox paired with outdoor activity or reflection
The bottom line? Growth happens outside of our comfort zone. If you’ve been feeling stuck, disconnected, or lost, the solution may not be another conversation, it may be stepping into something that forces you to rise.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Why don’t traditional therapy approaches work as well for men?
Men may tend to be more concerned about privacy and sometimes require greater reassurance that therapy will not adversely affect their image, position, or standing. Additionally, because men are often conditioned by social norms to refrain from showing certain emotions, they may fear that expressing these emotions will lead them to be perceived as less masculine.
What are the warning signs that a man needs mental health support?
Key warning signs include escapist behavior such as spending excessive time at work or on sports, physical symptoms like headaches and digestive problems, anger outbursts, substance use, and social withdrawal. Men may express depression differently than women, often showing anger and irritability rather than sadness. For 40% of men, it would take thoughts of suicide or self-harm to compel them to get professional help.
How can challenge-based approaches help with men’s mental health?
Challenge-based approaches work because they align with how many men naturally process stress and emotions. Physical challenges activate the nervous system in ways that build real resilience while providing a framework for emotional expression that feels authentic to many men.
What should I look for in a therapist who specializes in men’s mental health?
Search for therapists who specialize in men and ask if the therapist has a gender preference and what percentage of his or her clients are men. Also find out if the therapist has a private entrance and night or weekend hours, as many men anchor their self-esteem in their work and find it difficult to explain weekly appointments.
How can men build stronger social connections?
Join communities and organizations that foster intimacy such as churches, volunteer organizations, and support groups. Seek friendships with men who value alternative forms of masculinity and who are willing to talk about the need for human connection.
Taking Action: Your Next Steps
Remember, asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a powerful step toward growth and healing. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Actually, it can be comforting to know that you can’t do everything alone, and humans thrive on supporting one another.
Ready to start your journey? Browse our comprehensive therapist directory to find mental health professionals who understand men’s unique needs and challenges. Your transformation starts with a single step.
Disclaimer: This content was automatically imported from a third-party source via RSS feed. The original source is: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/4-missing-pieces-in-mens-mental-health-that-actually-work/. xn--babytilbehr-pgb.com does not claim ownership of this content. All rights remain with the original publisher.