Dad On Reddit Wants To Know If He Was Wrong For Taking Family Day To Relax

Another day, another example of men being generally disappointing. And yes, I know, I know — #NotAllMen, but #DefinitelyThisMan.

The post on Reddit’s r/TooAfraidToAsk is straightforward and brief: “At a waterpark is the DAD of the family wrong for not swimming all day with everyone? I feel like I just wanna sit in the beach chair in the shade. They think I’m grumpy. I just wanna relax.” The poster, u/greenmean3 adds in later comments, he explained that he was there with his female partner and 9-year-old daughter.

Oh boy. Where to begin…?

First of all: who in this big beautiful world goes to a waterpark (with a child!) to relax? Water parks are many things — fun, chaotic, thrilling, loud — but relaxing? No.

Second (but also first off and most important): if dad is relaxing on a chair in the shade all day, who’s watching the kid at the water park all day? I’m guessing this is the first place your mind went, because it’s where my mind went and also pretty much every other Redditor in the comments section.

“Hmm, does hanging out in a chair mean there’s another adult around who needs to pick up the slack and manage kids all day? Is your relaxation coming at the cost of another person’s labor?” asks the most liked comment.

Indeed, most of the comments here pointed out that this right here is the unequal division of labor we women are always going on about. Because… truly, could we find a more iconic example?

“Let’s say y’all are there 4 hours,” a third posits. “1 hour 20 minutes should be spent relaxing (mom has kiddo alone); 1 hour 20 minutes should be spent letting mom relax (you have kiddo alone); 1 hour 20 minutes should be spent as a family unit,” offers another. “Listen. We’re all tired. We all wanna relax. But opting out completely is not something you can do. This is part of being a partner.”

“As a fellow father, it’s not a vacation for Dad until the kids are 16+,” says another. “Be with them even if you’re not swimming. It’s important to be in proximity so they get that personal time as a family. You can take breaks and relax when others are free to supervise or if the kids are safe, but spending all day not around them defeats the purpose of going as a family.”

That commenter then adds a poignant observation: “My father did the same every family event and I never associated him as family, just someone we lived with.”

And, truly, if you’re not going to be present why bother being there at all? If you’re a parent, be a parent. Of course everyone understands wanting to relax all day and let someone else handle the childcare. Yes, even if, and I quote “there’s only one kid to ‘manage,’” and you’re “not sure she wants [ break’]” … sir. Even if you’re not going to do it for your partner, do it for your child. As another Redditor pointed out “your kid is only little for a little while. Have fun while there’s this kind of fun to be had.”