Why Is My Child a Picky Eater? What Helps

If you’re a parent of a picky eater, you know how exhausting mealtimes can be. Maybe your child eats only a handful of “safe” foods, refuses to try anything new, or gets upset around certain textures or smells. You might be wondering: Why is my child so picky? Is this normal? And how can I help without turning every meal into a battle?

You’re definitely not alone in this. Picky eating is common, but it’s not always just about being stubborn or picky for the sake of it. Often, there’s a deeper story involving sensory sensitivities, anxiety, and a need for control.

As both a parent and a clinician, I’ve worked with many families navigating these challenges. What I’ve learned—and what I share in my book—is that understanding the why behind picky eating is the key to helping your child develop a healthier relationship with food.

Many parents hear phrases like “kids will grow out of it” or “just make them eat.” But picky eating can be more complex. For some kids, it’s about sensory processing differences—the way their brain interprets touch, taste, smell, and texture. What might be a neutral or even pleasant experience for one child could be overwhelming or unpleasant for another.

During times of change or stress—like the back-to-school season—these sensitivities often feel more intense. New routines, noisy cafeterias, different foods, and less parental control can make a child’s anxiety about food spike. You might notice your child eating less in the morning before school or refusing the lunch you packed.

This isn’t a reflection on your parenting. It’s your child communicating discomfort and trying to find safety in an unpredictable environment.

Sensory sensitivities can include:

• Disliking certain textures (like slimy, crunchy, or mushy foods)

• Being overwhelmed by strong smells or flavors

• Reacting negatively to the sound of food crunching or slurping

• Preferring foods at specific temperatures or consistencies

When these senses get overloaded, your child might reject food outright or stick only to a very limited list of “safe” options. That’s why simply telling them to “try it” rarely works and often backfires, increasing stress for everyone at the table.

One of the biggest mindset shifts I recommend is moving away from “getting your child to eat” toward “helping your child feel safe around food.” This subtle change opens up new possibilities.

In my own parenting journey and through my clinical work, I found that offering consistent, low-pressure exposure to new foods—without bribes, punishments, or power struggles—makes a huge difference over time. It’s about patience, connection, and gently expanding comfort zones.

Back-to-school can be especially challenging because it disrupts routines and adds new stressors. Here are some gentle strategies that can help:

• Practice school lunches at home: Set up a lunch tray or bento box with familiar and new foods. Let your child explore them without pressure to eat. The goal is familiarity, not consumption.

• Keep mornings simple: Offer one “safe” breakfast food alongside a small taste of something new, without forcing them to try it.

• Validate feelings: Acknowledge your child’s feelings about food and school transitions. Saying “I know this is hard” can reduce anxiety.

• Communicate with teachers or caregivers: Let them know about your child’s sensory needs and food preferences so they can offer support during school meals.

• Create a calm mealtime environment: Turn off screens and minimize distractions. Your calm presence matters more than anything on the plate.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck, my book, Build a Better Eater, is designed for parents like you. It dives deeper into:

• The connection between sensory processing and picky eating

• How to reduce mealtime battles and stress

• Scripts and mindset shifts to support your child’s confidence around food

• Realistic, practical tips that work for families

• Building a healthy, lasting relationship with food for your child

You can find the paperback version on Amazon here:

Start with low-pressure exposure. Offer a small new food alongside a familiar favorite—without asking your child to eat it. Over time, this repeated exposure helps children get used to new tastes and textures on their own terms.

Remember, picky eating is a common challenge with no quick fix. You’re showing up for your child in a way that matters—a way that builds trust, safety, and lasting food confidence.

If you want a gentle, informed approach that respects your child’s sensory needs and emotions, check out my book Build a Better Eater here:

All blog content shared through HealthSmart! Kids is for informational purposes only and not to be construed as medical advice. Always talk with your qualified health care provider for managing your health care needs.