Children Should Be Made To Feel Welcome in Public Spaces

It’s frankly tiring reading yet another example of intolerance towards babies and children in public spaces whether that’s Jan Leeming, 80s newsreader complaining that a friend’s birthday at The Pig at Bridge Place, near Canterbury, was “slightly spoiled by a screaming child” recently, or yet another social media user complaining that they were sat near crying children on a flight.

People have a right to be child-free personally but they do not have a right to life that is child-free.

Proximity to babies and children is simply part of life and Leeming’s attitude is reflective of a societal and cultural problem in the UK our European neighbours don’t appear to share to the same extent. My family are originally Greek and children are valued and included in social gatherings and pride themselves on being family-centred and family-friendly. 

Leeming doesn’t share in this ethos and complained: “One tot was a real menace, allowed to walk around and often screaming … parents oblivious to other clients.” She went further asserting that children should be trained like dogs before a backlash. 

I can only assert Jan and her ilk have clearly forgotten that they were once a child themselves or what raising young children entails, and not forgetting how raising neurodivergent children might look like.

It’s a selfish and entitled view. 

Tantrums, tears, shouting aka not being able to manage emotions are all normative and formative behaviours expressed by young children (who typically only learn to reason between the ages of 5-8) and they deserve to exist and enjoy life. Just ask the NHS. 

It is imperative that we collectively work towards creating a compassionate society that does not place unrealistic expectations on children, or their parents who for the most part are simply TRYING THEIR BEST. 

If my daughter, 4, cries incessantly/shouts loudly for example and disturbs others in a restaurant setting, I would absolutely distract her/take her elsewhere to calm down before returning, and on the rare occasion she has not settled I have left without even finishing my food.

However, on the whole meltdowns are over quickly, and the public witnessing tantrums have been more than understanding.

My three children are now 16, 13 and 4 respectively and I can honestly count on one hand (3 fingers to be precise) any disdain shown towards them over 2 decades of being a mother.

The default, I’m lucky to share, has been great empathy and even wise counsel from others when they’ve kicked up a fuss/kicked their legs in anguish on the supermarket floor, and that includes both men and women who appeared to be in their 80s like Lemming but in their case, who have thankfully not forgotten what it’s like to be a child or raise young children. 

Children have a right to co-exist with adults. 

What is the alternative anyway?

Child-free spaces alienating parents further and children who never learn the social mores of eating out/ catching a train or flight? Children eating out is normalised in France, Italy, Greece and other countries so they quickly learn how to behave and interact with adults in that setting. 

A life contained to soft plays is not the life for me that’s for sure, nor is it for my children.

It has its place but I personally want to raise my children the Mediterranean way where they fit into the lives of their parents, benefiting both, and importantly, in doing so, children experience a varied, dynamic, interesting and fulfilling childhood just like I had, travelling all over the world with my parents, whether that was eating snails in fine restaurants in the South of France to attending pop concerts on my Dad’s shoulders as a young child.

I matured thanks to these experiences and certainly wasn’t made to feel a nuisance or not welcome either. Neither were my parents. We were lucky and priviledged to have these experiences, that much I know but it was a lesson in how valued children are in Europe. Let’s look there for inspiration to improve here in the UK.