Some movies don’t deserve a sequel, but the box office potential screams otherwise.
It’s hard to stare at a surprise hit like 2018’s “Ready or Not” and say, “yeah, one is enough.” That’s exactly what the team behind the film should have said.
Instead, we get “Ready or Not 2: Here I Come,” a sequel that squanders all the goodwill built up the first time around. Every last ounce of it.
Original star Samara Weaving isn’t to blame, nor is Kathryn Newton as a key addition to the saga. It’s a world-building exercise that goes nowhere, compounded by clunky dialogue and endless exploding bodies.
Yes, the latter bit is comical the first and second time, but the tenth?
The action picks up where the last film ended. Weaving’s Grace is still wearing her bloodied wedding dress, and local law enforcement thinks she may be responsible for all the dead members of the Le Domas family.
Her estranged sister Faith (Newton) visits her in the hospital where Grace, chained to the bed while recovering from her wounds, awaits the long arm of the law.
It doesn’t take long for the bigger story to emerge. Grace’s unlikely victory in the first film was just the beginning. Turns out that evil, uber-rich clan was part of a larger network of Satan-worshipping gazillionaires.
Dern that capitalism!
To be fair, the film’s satirical swipes never devolve into lectures and an early quip about geopolitical power. It’s merely the backdrop to the unfolding mayhem.
Grace and Faith are quickly captured and brought to a new mansion where the various families will try to kill her. If at first, you don’t succeed, we suppose.
She’s not exactly G.I. Jane, but she is scrappy and managed to survive the first film, so…
Whoever finally kills Grace will become the most powerful person in the world, or head of the high council, or something similarly Satanic and absurd.
The story is beyond ridiculous, and attempts to expand the “Ready or Not”-iverse reminds us of the superior “John Wick” saga. Those films have star power (Keanu Reeves), expert fight choreography and a stellar sense of mayhem.
“Here I Come” has Weaving, a terrific Final Girl, and little else. The action is frantic and lackluster, while the dialogue feels like it was written by teen boys who spend every waking hour playing Fortnite. Cursing abounds, and while R-rated films aren’t delicate by any stretch, the flop sweat screenplay screams straight-to-VOD fare.
The 2019 original, while no classic, deserves better than this.
The crowded story includes Sarah Michelle Gellar and Shawn Hatosy as siblings hoping to emerge victorious, even though they’re often too busy squabbling with each other.
The various characters gunning to kill Grace and Faith aren’t exactly fearsome or memorable. The former isn’t a deal killer since comedy is allegedly part of this cinematic dish. Except the laughs are infrequent and the endless gore feels desperate, not inspired.
A running subplot concerning Grace and Faith’s strained past is meant to build up their characters, but it’s so perfunctory it merely slows the film’s admittedly kicky momentum.
The sequel isn’t dull, just stupefying.
“Here I Come” is a mess from the very first scenes, an ill-fated attempt to stretch a quirky genre hit into a franchise.
HiT or Miss: “Ready or Not 2: Here I Come” boasts a snarky title, a game lead actress and little else.
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