Savannah Guthrie Questions If Jesus Felt Same Grief Amid Nancy Disappearance

Savannah Guthrie shared an Easter message with the parishioners of Good Shepherd New York in a digital message posted Sunday to YouTube, where she questioned whether Jesus “ever experienced this particular wound that I feel,” referring to the disappearance of her mom.

Guthrie’s mom, Nancy, disappeared Feb. 1 from her home in Tucson, Ariz. Guthrie, the co-anchor on NBC‘s Today, has been off the air since then, with her return set for Monday, which will mark the 65th day since Nancy disappeared. As of yet, there are no suspects nor has there been proof of life.

On Sunday, she appeared in Good Shepherd New York’s video, where she asked several questions that she said she’s been mulling.

“Good morning, everybody. Happy Easter,” Guthrie said. “And Easter is happy. It is flowers and pastels and baby bunnies. It is sunshine and joy and hope. It is rebirth and second chances and new life and fresh starts. It is the most important day of the year for all of us who believe, even more than Christ’s birth, more than his death. His resurrection, his second birth into a permanent life, that is what is most crucial to us. His revival and resurrection means the same for us.”

She continued: “We celebrate today the promise of a new life that never ends in death. But standing here today, I have to tell you, there are moments in which that promise seems irretrievably far away, when life itself seems far harder than death. These moments of deep disappointment with God, the feeling of utter abandonment for most of us, there will come a time in our life when these feelings hold sway. In our tradition, we are taught to take comfort in the fact that our friend, Jesus, in his short life, experienced every single emotion that we humans can feel. That his taking on the form of humanity made him not a distant observer to our pain but a hands-on experiencer of it. Recently, though, in my own season of trial, I have wondered, I have questioned, whether Jesus really ever experienced this particular wound that I feel, this grievous and uniquely cruel injury of not knowing, of uncertainty and confusion and answers withheld.”

Guthrie then said she thought maybe Jesus had questions for God before he died, much like she’s had her own questions, and that he could relate to the suffering of others, including her own.

“After Jesus died, after he breathed his last, what did he actually know?” she said. “On the cross, he cried out, ‘My God, my God. Why have you forsaken me?’ That is the anguished cry of someone who does not know the answers. Where did his soul and his spirit go in those days in between? And what was he thinking? Did he think his time in the grave would be a day or two, or 1,000 years? In the grave, does his agony seem indefinite to him? That torment of uncertainty, the way indefinite pain can feel eternal? Perhaps he did know this feeling after all.”

Guthrie went on to acknowledge that the message she was delivering was “dark.”

“Perhaps this is too dark a message to share on Easter morning, but I have long believed that we miss out on fully celebrating resurrection if we do not acknowledge the feelings of loss, pain and, yes, death,” she said. “It is the darkness that makes this morning’s light so magnificent, so blindingly beautiful. It is all the brighter because it is so desperately needed.”

Despite her grief, she said she feels hopeful and continues to have faith.

“I close my eyes this morning and I feel the sunshine,” she said. “I see a bright vision of the day when heaven and earth pass away because they are one, on earth as it is in heaven. When we celebrate today, this is what we celebrate. And I celebrate too. I still believe. And so I say with conviction: Happy Easter.”

Watch the video below. Guthrie appears at the 48:40 mark.