I first stumbled across Erika Dus’ Instagram profile back in the fall of 2024. Like many of you, I’m sure, I was getting served a lot of suburban-Swifties-for-Harris-walking content (usually while the subject was wearing a weighted vest). I was drawn to her love of TayTay, but I was also really drawn to her unapologetic realness. This, I could tell, was a woman in a much redder place than I was, being bold. I immediately liked her.
Fast forward a handful of months, Dus is still at it. She’s not afraid to take on the RFK Jr. acolytes that seem to have gleefully flooded everyone’s comments on Instagram in the days after the election. But her account isn’t all politics; it’s also fitness and relatable content about raising toddlers and being a midwestern mom.
I got the chance to chat with Dus via Zoom and learn about how she got started, how she handles the haters and more.
Scary Mommy: How old is your daughter?
Erika Dus: She just turned three in the beginning of April. … I’m 44. I spent most of my life thinking I was not going to have kids. I guess I’m sugarcoating it to say I didn’t have a real strong drive. The reality is I was very much like, “Kids are not for me.”
SM: So what changed?
ED: Looking back, I’m positive that I spent a lot of time in relationships that weren’t the right relationships and it wasn’t a safe space to have kids. And I had other things that I was more focused on. And once I hit my 40s, I started slowing down, I met my husband, circumstances changed to an extent, and suddenly, I had this feeling that like, Maybe I could do this. So it changed pretty quickly for me. Just the fact that it changed is something that I’ve struggled with. I’ve spent most of my life so annoyed by the fact that people tell me, You just haven’t met the right guy. Like, whoa, that’s so patronizing.
So I think that, not that there’s truth to that, but if you are not in a situation where it feels safe to do something, then you’re not going to do it. So when circumstances change, situations change, new possibilities come to the front.
SM: Right. So where are you in Ohio?
ED: I’m just west of downtown Cleveland.
SM: Where are you from originally?
ED: Born and raised a little bit further west of here. Ohio is a very red-looking state right now, but we have two big blue dots: Columbus, which is the capital and then Cleveland. Ohio’s weird because you talk to people who have grown up in Ohio, and if you’ve grown up outside of Cleveland or Columbus, your experience is very much like urban, immigrant-driven, melting pots. But then if you talk to someone who’s grown up in a more rural area of Ohio, their experience is totally different.
SM: You started on Instagram after your daughter was born?
ED: My background was in media sales. My plan was always to go back to work. Never in a million years was I like, I’m going to be happy as a stay-at-home mom. I had her at the tail end of COVID. In our area, it was very difficult to find childcare, obviously not just here, a lot of places…. Long story short, I ended up staying home.
And it became apparent pretty quickly that I love my daughter and I love being her mom, but there is this huge missing piece of my own sense of personal fulfillment and accomplishments and drive and ability that was missing. And I also was diagnosed with severe postpartum anxiety when I had her. So that lasted about a year and I’m sure that that impacted everything as well. At that point, I knew I wanted to do something. I needed to do something that felt… that I was producing something of value that contributes either to society or to my family or to something that I’m building. So that was part of what got me thinking about starting the account. And also… this is the first time in history that we have more women becoming moms in their 40s than in their teen years, which, number one is wild, but what it means is that our experience as mothers or experience as becoming mothers and finding our identity looks totally different than it did for our moms and grandmothers. You would look to your mother or your grandmother for advice, but they didn’t have the experience of navigating postpartum depression into perimenopause.
SM: Right.
ED: I was looking for resources on this and there was just this huge gap. And I thought to myself, Well, if it doesn’t exist, we’re going to have to start creating it. A large part of my motivation was, If I’m looking for this, then other people in my situation must also be looking for this. And at the very least, I can be someone who’s saying, Hey, you’re not alone.
I get called cringe on the internet all the time, which at this point, it rolls off my back. Cool, if you think I’m cringe, 28-year-old Gen Z dude commenting on my videos, that means I’m probably talking about the things that other people are experiencing, but don’t feel safe talking about. So I’m okay with that. But no one’s talking about how you get done going through the hormonal shifts, night sweats, weight gain, weight loss and then finally getting your body back to yourself and then, just kidding, it’s still not yours, now you have night sweats, but they’re just driven by something else.
SM: What do you say to the 28-year-old dudes who are following you? The two things you probably get the most hate for are your politics and you’re being outspoken about women’s health, which often go hand in hand. What do you do with those people?
ED: I vacillate truthfully. There’s part of me that is like, I need to protect my mental health and just bless, block and release. If we’re going to talk about hate comments, there’s different buckets. The profile I’ve built in my head is like, Okay, you’re the angry right wing Gen Z guy and you might leave a comment that’s like, You’re so old … They’re like weak-sauce third grade insult comments like, What? Does this score you points on the playground in grade school, You just look old and that’s why you’re on the internet? I’m 44. You think calling me old is going to hurt my feelings, man? Come on. So there’s that bucket of people.
There’s also a bucket of hate comments from men specifically that I think want to be yelled at by women on the internet. I think they get a little bit of something from it, so that doesn’t bother me, but it creeps me out a little bit. I try not to feed that troll too much. There’s also a third group, which I’ve seen a huge rise in lately. It’s really disappointing and frustrating, and that is people who very clearly have politics that are different from mine. I’m just going to say it: they’re enamored of Elon Musk and the machismo bravado of Donald Trump and worship at the foot of meanness and bullying.
And the number of comments in the last four months using the R word has absolutely skyrocketed. I just find it absolutely revolting that people are using that word, that they’re laughing about it, that it’s like this badge of honor. I find it so interesting that people who are like, RFK Jr. is great because he wants to ‘cure’ autism, are also this same group of people who are like, I’m so glad that we can use the R word freely again without consequences. I don’t understand the mental gymnastics that’s required to have a foot in both of those places, but I’ll tell you what I do: I make those comments into content.
My kid is three and she’s a girl and she’s going to spend a lot more time on this earth without me here to protect her than I have to spend. These guys are shaping the world that she’s going to live in. If I don’t push back on that with everything that I have, I won’t be able to sleep at night.
SM: I guess you’re just stronger than I am. It would really piss me off.
ED: It does piss me off. And I think that is a type of strength. Strength comes in different forms. Content creation is mentally and emotionally hard. It’s draining. I think you need something that keeps you going. Were you ever a Seinfeld fan?
SM: Yeah.
ED: Do you know when Jerry returns the jacket and they’re like, What’s your reason for returning the jacket? and he’s like, Spite. This is a spite return. First of all, that’s hilarious. I love Seinfeld and I always have, but spite can be pretty motivating and pretty powerful. And if someone’s leaving comments that are making me angry, I can sit with that anger and just feel downtrodden and discouraged or I can turn it into fuel. And I’m turning it into fuel because the truth of the matter is I’m 44, I’ve got 40 good years left, right? My kid is three and she’s a girl and she’s going to spend a lot more time on this earth without me here to protect her than I have to spend. These guys are shaping the world that she’s going to live in. If I don’t push back on that with everything that I have, I won’t be able to sleep at night.
SM: That’s your why.
ED: I’ve had some people ask me, Why don’t you run for office or something? And honestly, I wouldn’t know where to start. But if I can, through something like Instagram, help a hundred people vote who wouldn’t have voted, a hundred people get involved that you wouldn’t have been involved, people maybe who are not aware that there is this growing contingent of young men on the right who are serious about returning to what they’re calling a family vote. Make no mistake: A family vote is removing my right to vote. You could dress it up as a family vote and homemade sourdough and tradwives and floral dresses and milking goats, whatever, you’re taking my rights away. So if there is something that I can do that can help stem that tide or at least hold it off or lessen the impact of it to give my daughter a better chance of growing up in a world where she has independence and she has equality and she has rights, the rights that I enjoyed, the rights that my mom enjoyed, if I can do some of that, then yeah, I’m absolutely going to do that.
I would be lying if I said that was the only thing that I think about. I also love fitness. It’s been a huge part of my life, especially talking about postpartum anxiety and mental health. Fitness movement has been such a boon for me. I’m actually working on my certification for personal training and certified nutrition coach, which I’m excited about even just for myself. Fitness when you’re 44 looks a lot different than when you’re 24. You know what I mean? And don’t get me wrong, more power to the 25-year-old fitness influencers out there, but the 24 hours in their day are very different than the 24 hours in my day or in your day. I need tips and tricks for a 44-year-old overtired mom in perimenopause, not someone who’s like how to juggle classes and date night with your fitness.
SM: So new topic. I want to talk about nostalgia, particularly what peak ‘90s nostalgia is to you.
ED: I had an ex-boyfriend who talked about nostalgia being one of the most powerful forces for people and I completely agree. For me, do you remember the show My So-Called Life?
SM: Oh, yeah, I wasn’t allowed to watch it.
ED: I am honestly shocked that I was allowed to watch it. I watched every episode when it was actually on ABC. When it got canceled, I was one of the people who was writing the letters into the network saying, You need to bring this back. That was probably my first foray into activism to be totally honest with you. I was like, I can make a difference. I can write a letter and maybe bring Angela Chase back.
SM: Oh, so good.
ED: For a few years after that, MTV used to run it over and over again. And I remember I had gotten like a 13-inch tube TV that had a VCR built into it.
SM: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
ED: It was so, God, and I just remember thinking it was the height of technology. And looking at it now, I don’t even want to know what kids these days would think of it, but I can remember getting those blank VHS tapes and waiting and recording it. I was obsessed with Jordan Catalano and I had way too many plaid shirts, way too … I mean, it was the ’90s.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
