How to Deal with Grief: Helping Kids and Ourselves Heal from Loss

Grief can feel like an uninvited guest, lingering after the death of a loved one, the loss of a dream, a divorce, or a big move. As parents, we want to help our children deal with grief while navigating our own. It’s a challenging journey, but there are practical ways to find healing together. Drawing from trusted resources, I’ve gathered expert advice to help families deal with grief in its many forms. Let’s explore how we can support our kids and ourselves through this process, with actionable strategies to deal with grief and move forward with hope.

Understanding Grief: What It Means to Deal with Grief

To effectively deal with grief, we must first recognize its scope. Grief isn’t just about losing someone to death—it can stem from any significant loss. According to HelpGuide.org, “You may associate grieving with bereavement, the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief. Bereavement (the death of a loved one). Death of a pet. Divorce or relationship breakup. Loss of health. Losing a job. Loss of financial stability. A miscarriage. Retirement. Loss of a cherished dream. A loved one’s serious illness. Loss of a friendship. Loss of safety after a trauma. Selling the family home.” This broad definition shows that grief touches many aspects of life, and for kids, these losses can feel overwhelming.

Children deal with grief differently based on their age and development. The Dougy Center explains, “Children grieve differently based on their age, developmental level, personality, the nature of the loss, and the support they receive.” Younger kids may struggle to understand permanence, while teens might feel isolated or question life’s meaning. As parents, we’re also learning to deal with grief, which can make it harder to guide our kids. Acknowledging that grief is unique for everyone is the first step to helping our families deal with grief effectively.

Creating a Safe Space to Deal with Grief

One of the best ways to deal with grief is to create an environment where all emotions are welcome. Grief can bring sadness, anger, guilt, or even numbness, and these feelings can shift unpredictably. The NHS website notes, “Bereavement, grief and loss can cause many different symptoms and they affect people in different ways. There’s no right or wrong way to feel.” This applies to all losses, whether it’s a divorce, a move, or a dream lost to injury. Kids might act out or withdraw, but these are normal ways they deal with grief.

To help kids deal with grief, encourage open communication. The Dougy Center advises, “Talk to children honestly about the loss in age-appropriate ways. Use clear, simple language, and avoid euphemisms like ‘passed away’ or ‘gone to sleep,’ which can confuse younger children.” For example, to help a child deal with grief from a loved one’s death, you might say, “Grandpa’s body stopped working, and he died. We can talk about him and keep his memory alive.” For a divorce, try, “Mom and Dad aren’t living together anymore, but we both love you and will always be here.”

As parents, modeling how to deal with grief is powerful. Share your feelings honestly, like, “I’m sad about moving away from our old friends, but I’m hopeful about new adventures.” This shows kids it’s okay to feel complex emotions and encourages them to express theirs. GriefShare emphasizes, “Talking with other people who understand what you’re experiencing brings great comfort, normalizes the grief experience, and offers a supportive environment to work through your grief.” Joining a support group (community, online, church, etc.) can help both you and your kids deal with grief by connecting with others who understand.

Practical Ways for Kids to Deal with Grief

Kids often need tangible ways to deal with grief, especially for losses like a parent’s divorce or a dream ended by injury. The Dougy Center suggests, “Engage children in activities that help them express their grief, such as drawing, writing, or creating memory boxes. These activities can help children process their emotions and feel connected to what or who they’ve lost.” For a child grieving a move, you could help them deal with grief by creating a scrapbook of their old home or writing letters to former friends. For a lost dream, like an injury halting a sports passion, encourage journaling about what they loved and exploring new interests.

For younger kids, play is a natural way to deal with grief. The Center for Grief Recovery offers a great list of family-based support groups and programs to grieving children, teens, and their families. Activities like drawing or storytelling can help kids process their feelings. For example, a child grieving a pet’s death might draw a picture of their pet or create a story about their favorite moments together.

Teens may find peer support helpful to deal with grief. GriefShare explains, “Each weekly GriefShare group begins with a 30-minute video featuring respected experts on grief-related topics and helpful stories from people who have experienced loss. Their insights will help you manage your emotions, gain clarity, and find answers to your questions as you walk through the grief process.” A teen support group, whether in-person or online, can provide a safe space to share. Parents can also help teens deal with grief by encouraging small steps, like daily check-ins or shared activities that bring comfort, such as cooking together.

How Parents Can Deal with Grief

A great example of using practical talents to deal with grief is Jenedy Paige: The Art Ninja. Her’s is an inspiring story of using painting and ninja training to help her deal with the grief of losing her child. You can learn more about her story here.

To help our kids deal with grief, we must first care for ourselves. The NHS advises, “do not try to do everything at once – set small targets that you can easily achieve · do not focus on the things you cannot change – focus your time and energy into helping yourself feel better · try not to tell yourself that you’re alone – most people feel grief after a loss and support is available.” To deal with grief, give yourself permission to rest, seek support, or express emotions without judgment.

Joining a support group can be a powerful way to deal with grief. GriefShare shares, “GriefShare helped me to know I am not alone. … At GriefShare you’ll receive valuable guidance and tips, leading you to relief, comfort, and peace of mind.” Therapy is another option. HelpGuide.org notes, “BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours.” Even simple acts, like journaling or taking a walk, can help parents deal with grief.

Avoid comparing your grief to others’. Nothing Is Wasted points out, “Emotional pain is on a spectrum. Not necessarily of mere intensity but also of variation. The pain of divorce isn’t quite like the pain of losing a spouse.” Recognizing that your grief—whether from a death, divorce, or lost dream—is valid helps you deal with grief without guilt.

Honoring Loss to Deal with Grief

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means finding ways to deal with grief while keeping memories alive. The Dougy Center suggests, “Doing something positive to honour their memory can help you move through the grieving process.” To deal with grief from a loved one’s death, you might plant a tree or create a memory book. For a divorce, establish new family traditions, like a weekly movie night. For a lost dream, such as an injury ending a hobby, explore related roles, like mentoring others.

Kids can also deal with grief through meaningful tributes. The Center for Grief Recovery shares, “This support organization was created to help women and their families whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth or in the first few months of life.” Adapting this, you could help your child deal with grief by writing a story about their loss or creating a playlist that reflects their emotions. These acts empower kids to process grief actively.

Parents can model how to deal with grief by accepting help or creating rituals. Nothing Is Wasted advises, “Instead ask someone who is close to the grieving party what they really need. Meals? House-cleaning? Laundry? Yard work? A massage?” By leaning on others and honoring the loss, we show kids how to deal with grief with resilience and hope.

Conclusion: A Path to Deal with Grief Together

Learning to deal with grief is a journey we don’t choose, but we can navigate it with love and support. By understanding grief’s many forms, creating safe emotional spaces, using practical strategies, caring for ourselves, and honoring losses, we can help our kids and ourselves deal with grief. The Dougy Center reminds us, “There is no such thing as ‘getting over’ your child’s death. The grief is crushing and I don’t believe will ever fully go away. But it doesn’t have to destroy you.” This applies to all losses. It’s about carrying love forward while finding ways to heal.

For more help to deal with grief, explore GriefShare, the Dougy Center, or HelpGuide.org (https://www.helpguide.org). You’re not alone, and with time, you and your kids can find peace.

My Personal Conclusion

Thank you for reading this far. I know most people don’t. But, I just wanted to share some of my personal thoughts on dealing with grief and my experiences.

I, like many of you, have experienced the death of many family members. My mom died from cancer when I was 14. Before that, I had two siblings die soon after birth. All of my grandparents have died, along with many relatives and even a few friends.

Like it or not, death is part of life; one cannot exist without the other. They are opposites that must exist in tandem. Life is full of opposites: light and dark, pleasure and pain, joy and sadness, and so on.

I have learned that grief is actually a reflection of the love I feel for the person that is gone. The greater my grief, the greater my love.

For me, it has been my faith in Jesus Christ that has carried me through and healed me. You may not believe in Jesus Christ. That’s okay. But, there is power in believing in something greater than you, something that gives you hope and can heal you. Below is one more video of Jenedy Paige and her experience painting. In the previous video she focused on how ninja training helped her heal. This video is about paining, but more importantly, it is about how Jesus Christ catches us when we fall. I hope it gives you hope, as it has me.

– David