When July hits, it’s all popsicles, pool days, and late sunsets in the front yard while the kids play. Then, out of nowhere, August is here already, and with it comes the knot in your stomach, reminding you that it’s almost time to break out the backpacks again.
If you get the sense that the mood in the house shifts as the calendar flips from your schedule for summer to your schedule for the school year, you’re probably no stranger to the idea of the back-to-school blues — or even, for some, back-to-school depression. For parents and children alike, the idea of summer slipping away can rouse feelings of anxiety about starting another school year again.
End-of-summer emotional shifts are common, but they can be overcome. With the right mix of validation, gentle structure, and small moments of agency, your family can trade August angst for steady confidence going into September. In this article, we’ll help you spot the warning signs of back-to-school blues, provide guidance on how to have judgment-free conversations with your kids, and build routines that protect mental health year-round.
Look Out for the Signs of Back-to-School Blues
Most kids are still learning how to name their emotions, and they might not come out and tell you that they’re feeling anxious about going back to school. More often, it’s the subtle (or not-so-subtle) shifts—dragging their feet in the morning, snapping over small things, or slamming doors—that reveal what’s really going on. As summer comes to a close, keep an eye out for emotional changes that may be tied to back-to-school depression:
- Irritability or mood swings
- Low energy or trouble concentrating
- Uncharacteristic changes in sleep or appetite
- Physical ailments, like stomach aches or headaches
- Avoidance of school-related topics or activities
These are normal responses to change in children and adolescents. However, if feelings of sadness and irritability, or changes in sleep or appetite patterns persist for a period of 2 weeks or more, it may point to something deeper that requires additional support.
You know your child best. If you think they seem stuck in distress with no signs of improvement, know that there are multiple effective types of therapy for teens and kids. You don’t have to wait for a crisis to reach out.
Talk About What’s Coming
Sometimes, the best solution is the simplest: talk about it. Uncertainty feeds worry, but open conversations can help keep both kids and parents grounded. Even though you’ve been through this before, it can still help to talk through what to expect, including new teachers, classrooms, or even a new school.
During the conversation, make space for any emotions that surface. Nervousness, sadness, and excitement can all co-exist. When we put our feelings into words, those feelings lose a bit of their grip. Perhaps the conversation will lend itself to a teaching moment, too. You might start by saying, “Sometimes naming what we feel makes it feel less scary. What about going back to school is worrying you right now?”
Validate and Normalize the Experience
It might help to remind your child and yourself that big transitions can stir up big emotions, and that’s normal. Feeling down, anxious, stressed, or unmotivated before school starts doesn’t mean that something’s wrong.
Reassure your child that it’s okay to feel a little off right now. Validate their experience by saying something like, “It makes sense that you’re feeling this way; starting something new can be a lot to deal with.” You don’t have to agree with every worry to validate their experience as real. By normalizing emotions rather than jumping to try to “fix it,” we give kids permission to be honest with themselves and with us.
“Going back to school blues is a natural reaction to the end of the summer. Parents can help their children with back-to-school blues by talking to them about their feelings of excitement, fear, or worry. Parents need to validate their children’s feelings as a normal part of going back to school.”
Ease the Transition With Gentle Structure
Transitioning from summer break to school nights can mean that structure tends to return all at once, including early alarms, packed lunches, and booked calendars. Easing into that transition gradually can make the shift more manageable for everyone. By introducing gentle structure, kids may feel safer, more capable, and less overwhelmed by the impending change.
Reinstate routines gradually
Think of it as warming up before a workout. By slowly adjusting the rhythm of your days, you’re giving your child’s mind and body more time to get up to speed by the time school rolls around. Consider adjusting one part of the day at a time—maybe it’s bedtime this week, then earlier wakeups next week. Reintroduce things like screen-time limits or quiet reading time in small doses.
Plan small “anchors” for comfort
When there’s something to look forward to, the back-to-school blues become easier for everyone. What small but regular rituals can you implement that your family would enjoy?
Maybe it’s a special breakfast on Mondays to start the week on a high note, or a family movie night on Wednesday to break things up. These “anchors” can inject small moments of predictability and comfort and remind kids that there are pockets of fun they can count on, even in the busy seasons.
Focus on What’s in Their Control
One of the hardest parts of the back-to-school season, especially for anxious students, is how much they feel is out of their control. They can’t choose their teachers or classmates, and they can’t slow down the schedule or extend the summer. However, even in a sea of unknowns, there’s still much they can control.
Research shows that planning, problem-solving, and agency all foster resilience, which in turn improves mental health outcomes in children and adolescents. Invite your child to exercise that agency by choosing new school supplies, decorating their desk, or choosing extracurriculars for the upcoming year. Even better, ask them what changes or decisions would foster confidence and help make those happen.
By allowing them to take initiative, even in small ways, you reinforce the idea that they have a say in how the year unfolds. When kids feel empowered, worries get smaller, motivation builds, and challenges start looking less like threats and more like opportunities for growth.
Make Space for Grief and Gratitude
The end of summer can stir up a mix of emotions, from excitement about what’s ahead to sadness over what’s ending, and perhaps a little back-to-school anxiety about both. Encourage your kids to name and process those feelings to make the transition feel a little less daunting and more normal.
Look for small moments to reflect together. This can be during family check-ins, dinner table conversations, or even during casual conversation during a car ride. What creative outlets does your child tend to gravitate toward? Harness these as a way for your child to express what they’re feeling, whether it’s through drawing, journaling for anxiety, or creating a photo collage of summer memories together.
The important part is encouraging them to hold both sides of gratitude and grief. When we model that it’s okay to feel both at the same time, we promote deeper emotional learning.
“To help kids transition from the summer back to school, parents can encourage them to reflect on their summer experiences by journaling, coloring, making a scrapbook or photo album, as well as talking about what they are looking forward to in the new school year.”
Keep Communication Open Throughout the Fall
The back-to-school blues or other emotional shifts don’t always resolve after the first day or even the first week of school. Settling into new routines, friendships, or expectations takes time, and every child handles things differently. You can’t handle the hard parts for them, but you can make it easier by keeping the conversation going well into the fall.
What part of your day might offer the best entry point for low-pressure moments of connection? Open-ended questions like “What was something hard and something fun that happened today?” allow your child to lead the conversation.
Showing up with curiosity and empathy doesn’t require having all the answers. Your job is to help your child feel heard and seen. They’ll reward you by being more likely to open up, ask for help, and trust their own voice as they get older.
Get Supplies Together as a Fun Activity
School prep doesn’t have to be just checklists and stress. Turn supply shopping into something fun and collaborative by letting your child pick out pens or notebooks in their favorite colors, choose stickers to decorate their lunchbox, or splurge on a fancy planner that makes them excited about getting organized.
Bonus points if you add a treat to make it even more special, like stopping for ice cream on the way home. Best case scenario, it’ll feel more like a fun memory than a chore.
Get Extra Support if the Blues Don’t Lift
If your child’s low mood, anxiety, or behavioral changes linger well beyond the first few weeks of school, it might be time to reach out for extra support. School counselors, pediatricians, and licensed therapists can help kids build coping skills and emotional resilience that pave the way for improved mental health beyond school depression and well into adulthood.
Talkspace makes beating school blues and getting help for teens easier. With flexible, online therapy for teens and parents, you can connect with licensed therapists from anywhere—no commutes, waiting rooms, or carpools required. If the back-to-school blues are weighing on you as a parent, you can reach out for help. Support is available, and fitting it into your schedule might be easier than you think.
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