There’s this single man I met a few years ago through a mutual friend. He’s an entrepreneur, has full custody of his kids, and is very open about how overwhelmed he is with life. You know, just like the rest of us.
But one day while we were chatting over coffee and he was trying to arrange rides for his kids, take care of a sudden work crisis and spend time with a friend who’s a little lost since her kids are older (me), he asked me how I got through it all.
I’ve been a single, working mom for quite some time, so he was curious to know how I made the transition and handled juggling it all after my divorce. I told him it was hard, but doable. And now here I was with grown kids missing the hustle and bustle so much my stomach hurt.
And then I made him an offer which was more for me than for him. I told him he could pay me to be his housewife, a role I loved when I was married. I’d cook, clean, organize, shop, get his kids, fold the laundry, meal prep and plan, whatever he needed. Essentially he’d hire me to be his personal assistant/wife/chef/you name it.
He said, “Okay. And also I need you to help me decorate and get some new clothes.”
There was no arm twisting there. I was all in, and I’ve been working for him for the past year. I’ve had friends look at me like I’ve lost my mind, wondering why I’d want to go back to all of that after doing it for so long with my own kids.
But I have my reasons:
First and foremost, I’m a damn good housewife. I’m efficient and can do more in a day than he can in a month with all he has on his plate, and he appreciates it.
It’s flexible. I can still make all of my appointments, nurture my friendships, see my older kids, and take on other creative work I love.
I truly love it. I love caring for, helping, and taking care of people. I always have. After my kids got older and moved out I knew I still had a purpose, but damn it wasn’t as clear as it was when they were home. That change definitely threw me off a little bit.
The other day I made his kids’ favorite dessert and I was so excited for them to come home from school and see it. I’ve missed those moments in my own life, and this job has helped fill that void.
There have been times I’ve organized something and he just puts it back the way it was. There are days I clean the kitchen and it gets trashed again in two seconds. But you know what? I don’t care because it’s not my house and they aren’t my kids. I get to leave and go back to my house, which is organized exactly the way I want it. Sure, I go back and repeat it all the following day, but instead of getting frustrated that I’m picking up after kids and making dinner every night, I look at this as job security. If this guy was super organized, ran a tight ship, and his kids helped him around the house he wouldn’t need me. But I’ll take his disorganization and make it work for me. And – amazingly – I was just approached by another single dad who would like to pay me to be his housewife a few days a week. He specifically wants someone to help him make healthy meals, pick up his kids from school and help him organize his closet.
Sign me up.
