I’m Taking A GLP-1 Drug & Terrified It’ll Mess Up My Daughters’ Body Image

At my annual check-up with my OB-GYN, I brought up how frustrated I was with my weight. She responded that I had actually lost a couple of pounds since my last visit and was now back at my December 2022 weight, thinking that would comfort me.

Instead, I burst into tears. December 2022 was six weeks after my second daughter was born.

In the two and a half years since she arrived, I’ve been good about strength training two to three times a week. I’ve upped my protein intake and cut way back on wine. My step count is up thanks to the walking pad I use throughout the work day, and I even added a weighted vest to my walks earlier this year.

Despite all of my efforts, though, the stubborn weight around my midsection hadn’t budged. Hence, my tears in her office a few months ago.

I don’t want to be “heroin chic” thin or even a size 4. I know I’ll never be at my wedding weight again, which took a year of six-day-a-week athletic conditioning sessions and depriving myself of anything fun to eat, plus a last-minute stomach flu, to achieve.

But damn it, I want to be thinner than I am right now.

I’d considered taking a GLP-1 before, but I thought it would be seen as a cop-out. The internet has lots of feelings about people taking weight loss drugs, the majority of which seem pretty negative. More than that, though, I was worried about how taking a weight loss drug would affect my daughters.

I want to be thinner, yes, but I also don’t want to negatively impact them in any way by taking one. They’re absorbing everything I say and do right now, just like I did with my mom growing up, and I know how much my actions will affect their perception of their bodies.

There were weeks when my mom would only eat cabbage stew as she tried to drop a few pounds. I clocked when she made comments about foods that were “bad,” and heard her dissatisfactory remarks when something didn’t fit the way she wanted it, too. By the time I was in middle school, I had internalized that being thin was a measure of self-worth.

So, since my girls have been born, I’ve focused really hard on (what I think are) body-positive behaviors with my girls. I don’t comment on my appearance in front of them. When I try on clothes, I talk about how I think a dress doesn’t make me feel my best, not that I hate how I look in it. Going to the gym is so that I can get strong, not to work a meal off or as punishment. There are no bad foods, just differences in how foods make our bodies feel that we talk about.

But I was worried about how taking a GLP-1 might change things, how I might respond if I couldn’t eat dinner one night because I didn’t have an appetite. Or what might I say if they notice changes in my body, or if someone were to comment on my weight in front of them?

After a lot of hemming and hawing, I started on a low dose of a weight loss medication about two months ago. I opted for a low dose because I had heard stories of people with no appetite at all, or being so sick that they couldn’t get off the couch. A regular dose might have resulted in swifter weight loss, and I thought a more gradual one would be healthier for my girls to see (if they even noticed).

So far I’ve been losing about a half a pound a week, so the change hasn’t been dramatic. I still eat dinner every night with my girls, just smaller portions.

I haven’t changed how I talk about myself in front of them and haven’t stopped focusing on healthy habits like going to the gym, using my walking pad, and eating nutritious foods. So far, no one has commented on my weight, which is just as good, because we really shouldn’t be commenting on each other’s bodies.

My girls have noticed — just not in the ways that I feared.

They’ve noticed that I’m putting on “real” clothes more often now, and that there are more days when I put on makeup. They’ve asked if I have somewhere special to go those days, and seem tickled when I tell them I just want to look nice for the day ahead.

They’ve noticed that I have more energy to play, and that I’m more willing to get into the pool with them in my bathing suit.

I feared that I would f*ck them up by taking a GLP-1, but now I wonder if I was f*cking them up by not doing something for myself and starting it.

I realized just how much I’d been wearing gym gear and leaving my hair in a messy bun because I was so uncomfortable in my skin and in my clothes. They were seeing a mom who wasn’t taking care of herself well, who had lost her sparkle. My confidence had been at an all-time low, which they were also absorbing.

Like I said, the internet has a lot of opinions on GLP-1s and what women should be doing instead if they want to lose weight, as well as a lot of opinions on how women should accept their body however it is.

As a therapist told me once, “shoulds” create a lot of unfair guilt because they’re based on pressure from societal expectations, and those expectations held me back from starting on the medication.

If taking a GLP-1 is what helps me get my confidence back, I think that’s a huge win for not only me but for my girls as well. I’ll continue to model the body-positive behaviors I’ve already started, for me and for them.

Will taking a weight loss medication screw my girls up? I don’t think so. If anything, I think it’ll have a positive impact. They deserve a happy, healthy, and confident mom.

And you know what? I deserve that, too.

Elliott Harrell is a Raleigh, NC-based freelance writer with two little girls who runs a sales team by day and writes about things she’s passionate about, like women’s health, parenting, and food, at night. In addition to Scary Mommy, her work can be found in PS, The Everymom, Motherly, Business Insider, Eater, and more. When she’s not doing laundry, she can be found making a mess in her kitchen with a new recipe or working on her latest needlepoint project.