Is It Possible To Be Friends With Child-Free People As a Mum?

Previously known for her funny songs about single life like Tube Ride of Shame, musical comedian Tamar Broadbent took some time away to get married and have a baby (and live in Amsterdam and sail around the world… but that’s another story!) Now she’s BACK with a brand-new show about pregnancy and new motherhood.

For Tamar (‘Talented, bright and funny’ – Michael Palin), motherhood has meant a lot of unexpected questions. What if your baby can’t breastfeed, and you’re in a hospital where saying ‘Formula’ is like saying Voldemort? What if you’re usually a sensible person, but you still got accidentally brainwashed by the childbirth group that promised you the best method of pain relief was “breathing?” And, what if, after nine months, you can’t imagine you could love anything more, but you also feel bereft that your belly button may never return?

Featuring 10 original songs by Tamar, performed live on the piano, including: ‘A Mother’s Place is in the Wrong!!!’ ‘I Tried Hard to Breastfeed, But It Sucked’, ‘Don’t You Wanna Have a Natural Birth?!’ and ‘Alcohol, I’ll Never Take You For Granted Again’, Plus One is a hilarious and heartfelt look at how the world pressures women to have babies and then tries to persuade them they are doing every part of it wrong.

Tamar Broadbent is a comedian, writer and improviser. She won the Stiles & Drewe Best New Song Award, was nominated for Best Comedy at Fringeworld and was a Funny Women and Amused Moose Laugh Off Finalist. She has toured the world with her musical comedy shows, of which Best Life appeared at SoHo Playhouse NYC and then toured with Virgin Voyages in the USA from 2021-2023. She has appeared on BBC Radio 4’s The Now Show and Fresh From the Fringe and has written for Sketchtopia.

Tamar is the only British woman to have ever been a main stage cast member at renowned US improv theatre Boom Chicago (alumni include Seth Meyers, Jordan Peele and Jason Sudekis). As an MC, she has hosted many large-scale events, including the Nordic Business Forum, with special guest George Clooney. TV credits include Doctors, The Bill and Lee Nelson’s Well Funny People, and she has appeared on Comedy Central Online.

Plus One will have baby-friendly shows on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays during its run at the Fringe.

★★★★★ EdFestMag / ★★★★★ Female Arts /

★★★★★ Broadway Baby / ★★★★★ West End Frame / ★★★★★ Forge / ★★★★★ ‘A fantastic, hilarious gem’ – Musical Theatre Review

‘Talented, bright and funny.’

Michael Palin.

Below Tamar shares a witty guest post on how friendship can change once you become a mum!

Is it possible to be friends with child-free people, once you have a baby?  By Tamar Broadbent

When my baby was five weeks old, a friend was round and telling me with urgency and in great detail about a TV show. I felt like my eyeballs were on fire. I explained, as politely as I could, that I didn’t give a toss about these fictional reformed super-villains. All I could think about was my baby.  

I have historically been able to chat with my friends about anything and everything: intricate workplace ‘beefs’; the casting of that new Jane Austen adaptation; whether or not Nando’s should ever have added sundried tomatoes to their chicken in pita bread. But once my baby arrived, I felt I did not have the mental capacity to think about anything else but her. I stopped listening halfway through my friends’ sentences, sometimes because I was too exhausted to keep up and sometimes because I was urgently re-writing a nap schedule in my head or making a mental note to order that new “unbeatable” colic bottle off Amazon. 

I had hoped I would not be that parent who obsessed about their baby. I remember visiting friends with babies back when I was childfree and thinking gosh, they’re being so boring! Why don’t they want to talk in depth about this recycling conspiracy I just read about in the news? And now, I completely get it. My mind was full! I was learning not just a new skill but a new reality – how to be a mum. How to be me, but with a permanent plus one! My priorities had changed! I now carried in my arms the most precious thing in my universe – nothing else seemed remotely important. Not even sundried tomatoes. 

Some friends didn’t seem to get that things had changed. One pal kept inviting my husband and I out for things like a marathon cinema night; an evening of extreme paddle boarding; a tasting menu at a restaurant; a train, bus and Uber ride away from our house. Once again, I had to explain, as politely as I could, that she was being bonkers. We have a baby! You will probably never get both of us out of the house after 7pm ever again! 

I worried for a while that I would lose touch with people: that I’d never be able to relate to anything that wasn’t about having a baby ever again. But of course that was silly. Once those chaotic, sleep-deprived first few months were over, my brain started to have more space. I felt more on top of things and my world grew bigger than just my living room. I had time for other activities – I began working on my new musical comedy show! I went out for a wine with an old bestie and didn’t spend the whole time worrying about reflux. We still had to turn down that paddleboarding evening… but my point is, I was able to be present for my friends again. 

So, yes, of course it is possible to have child-free friends once you’ve had a baby. But they have to understand and support that you will be preoccupied for a while. And that whilst you are still you, you are fundamentally changed. I am me, but I am a mother. I am here for you, but if my baby needs anything I will have to interrupt you halfway through your sentence to run to her! Luckily, my besties get this. They’ve been patient, caring, and happy to hang out with me and my tiny plus one!

I’m so glad they were willing to wait for me, because after nine months of a brain full of baby admin, I am dying to chat about something else… like these fictional reformed supervillains whose exploits I have FINALLY been able to catch up on! 

Tamar’s musical comedy show Plus One is on at the Edinburgh Fringe, 7-24th August. 

Photo by Steve Ullathorne.

Read more guest posts here.