It’s OK If Your Kids Aren’t Playing With All Their New Stuff Right Now

It’s as much a Christmas tradition as A Christmas Story playing 24 hours on TBS every year — you find yourself completely irritated with your children who just opened approximately 8 billion new presents (presents they begged for and squealed with delight over) and are asking if they can have their tablets back or if they can go get their old toys or if they can watch a movie.

I get it. It’s hard not to feel completely deflated. All these perfectly chosen gifts, and they just want their ratty old doll from upstairs with the marker on her face? You bought them the exact book series they begged for, and now they want to watch YouTube Kids? It makes you want to throw everything back up the chimney with Santa.

But, really, it’s completely normal if your kids aren’t playing with all of their brand-new things right now. And it doesn’t mean they aren’t grateful or happy with what they received.

They just need some regulating.

Think about it: When you get all your new Christmas goodies, are you immediately ripping open the brand-new set of mixing bowls you sent a direct link to a relative to buy you? Are you immediately diving into the new book you wanted, or eating every single item in your stocking? Do you rush upstairs to use your new moisturizer? Do you beg everyone to play the new board game you just got seconds after opening it?

Or are you curled up on the couch amidst a sea of wrapping paper, scrolling Instagram or drinking a cup of coffee in silence?

All humans (adults and kids alike) are tuned into their own comforts. And even the most exciting moments — Christmas morning, a beach vacation, a day at the theme park — can be overstimulating. It doesn’t matter how much we wanted them or how much we were looking forward to them; it’s totally normal to feel like we need a minute to recalibrate and handle all of the joy and fun.

Also, let’s be honest… if your kid got a million gifts, it’s easy to figure out why they might be a little overwhelmed by all the newness.

Gina Gendron, M.Ed, shares parenting tips on Instagram that encourage a lot of play and sensory support, and one of her most recent posts really drove it home. It’s not that your kid isn’t happy with what they received; they may just need some more familiar play right now.

And I promise, this explanation also works if your kid is begging for screen time instead of asking you to open one of their new gifts.

Screen time is an incredibly polarizing topic, but when you treat it as what it is — familiar play — you can figure out what it is about it that makes you feel ashamed or sad when your kid asks for it over their new gifts.

Ash Brandin, EdS, known as The Gamer Educator on social media, has been my guide for navigating screen time for kids. One of the things Brandin has taught me through their videos that has stuck in my brain the most? Kids choosing their devices over something else doesn’t mean they don’t like other things — it means they have the freedom to choose something comforting for them, and that’s what they chose.

That’s it.

When it comes to your kids preferring their iPad for a bit after all the presents have been opened or pushing away all their brand-new toys for a new Nintendo Switch game, it’s their own version of regulating.

So don’t panic if you’re finding unopened gifts still stacked by the tree. Don’t stress if a new toy they played with for hours yesterday is now forgotten under a pile of laundry today. Don’t worry that your kids are destined to become play-less zombies who’d rather watch Netflix than build Lego sets.

We all need a moment to get it together, right? And honestly, modeling the behavior you want your kids to have is just as important. So put your phone down today, ask if you can play with them, or take everybody out on a long winter walk to get your nervous system back in order. Maybe then, when they aren’t wandering in circles around the house while you disassociate on TikTok, they’ll find that the new American Girl doll actually looks like the best thing to play with today.