Love Is Blind Contestants Seem To Have Forgotten Contentment *Is* The Goal

One of the things I love about my marriage is how easy it is to be married to my husband. I know, I know — marriage is hard! — but my actual partner, the guy I fell in love with, is the most genuine person I know. He has zero facades, is one of those guys who’s just naturally happy, and that means he’s just as eager to go with the flow with me. Our marriage has been built so much on contentment, on the two of us just being happy to spend our lives together, no matter what it looks like. We like being together, we like our boring little lives of Jeopardy! on the couch every night with our three daughters at our feet, we like going to the beach and spending hours in the sand with no plans beyond picking up shrimp from the local restaurant — we’re just happy together.

And apparently… that kind of marriage just isn’t enough for some people.

In Love is Blind Season 10, one couple in particular has brought up the question of contentment, of being “challenged,” and of what it means to give someone the “best” of you — and I’m thinking Bri isn’t actually as “Breezy” as her nickname would lead you to believe.

Look, it’s fine if Bri is not attracted to Connor, the self-proclaimed “blue collar” midwestern guy who is quite content at his job selling dumpsters to construction companies, hanging out with his family, and having video games as a hobby. Connor, who really had to work on being vulnerable in the pods, has become a fan favorite, with people loving how easygoing and chill he is, and how deeply in love he is with Bri. Telling her that even when she’s on her way home to him, he still loves that she calls after work — that kind of love. It’s the love we see on Instagram reels and cute TikToks and read a million comments like, “May this love find me.”

And Bri… seemed into it? And then she wasn’t.

In her breakup (I guess? Sort of? She claims she hopes they can still get married “some day”?) speech to Connor, as he is literally telling her how much he loves her, she insists that he is not getting the “best” version of her. That’s fine, Connor says! When he does get the full Bri treatment, he knows he’ll just be even more obsessed with her! But Bri says no. That she’s used to men ordering for her in restaurants, unlike Connor who will have a conversation about what to order with her. That she wants a man who pushes her out of bed at 6 a.m. to workout, unlike Connor who values that alone time in bed for snuggling and being with her before their days begin. That she wants a man to out-alpha her, unlike Connor who seems quite secure and content in her being the Type A personality of their relationship while he’s the easygoing one.

It’s honestly heartbreaking.

Look, improving one’s self is a good thing. Having a partner that pushes you to be the best version of yourself, that encourages you to be better, that advocates for you — all good things.

But to get caught up in this mindset that the only good partner is one that is constantly challenging you? It sounds exhausting. And honestly, a little demoralizing.

I blame the hustle culture. This idea that we’re all supposed to be boss babes, constantly shifting and improving ourselves. The red-pilled influencers that insist every man needs to be an aggressive, dominant, never-settle-for-anything-but-the-best alpha action hero, and all of the women need to want this type of man to lead them. The influencers taking over social media to tell us that our cars aren’t good enough, our kitchens aren’t big enough, our satisfaction with our lives is not enough.

We’ve been told that being content is a failure. That having a relationship where we aren’t constantly challenged and pushed is a failure. That being with a person who doesn’t match your exact level of ambition and drive is a failure.

And Bri completely fell for it.

Of course, we’re watching a reality show. We may never know the full scope of what actually happened between Bri and Connor, but from the scenes we were shown (and Connor’s teary-eyed interview after the chat), it truly feels like Bri sees zero endearing qualities to Connor being a guy who’s just happy with his lot in life. He’s worked hard to own his own home, to build a life he’s proud of and enjoys, to grow with a partner and move onto having a family and enjoying the future — and all she sees is that he’s still not enough for her. Everyone is allowed their preferences, sure, but with such a push from this culture of ambition and productivity, it’s hard not to think she got swept up in the influencer bullshit of it all, too.

Because girl, you can have a good mixture in a relationship. As someone married to a Golden Retriever like Connor, I feel grateful that my husband will say things like, “Babe, have you worked on your book today?” because he knows it’s important to me, but will also encourage me to rest, to breathe, to enjoy whatever is happening.

Because my guy loves me and cares for me. And honestly, that’s more than enough.