It’s no secret that trying to hang out with friends once you all have kids is just pure chaos. Everyone’s busy, everyone’s running in a million directions, and everyone’s feeling the pressure. But I recently asked my mom — who had tons of close friends in the ‘90s and saw them all the time — how she did it. She… didn’t quite understand the question. “We just did,” she said. She and her friends just got together.
And I’m convinced it’s because all of their hangouts were low-pressure — and free.
For my mom, it was all about opportunity. You couldn’t bet on anyone having a free weekend to hang out or a babysitter for a Friday night, nor could you bet on your buddies having the funds for a weekend away or a big dinner out. But you all have to fold laundry at some point, right? Everyone’s going to watch the Dancing with the Stars finale. Everyone’s got two hours on a Sunday afternoon to play a game of Scrabble.
That’s how you sneak in your friend time.
You’re A) going to have to get comfortable with friends coming into your home (it doesn’t have to be sparkling clean, stop that) and B) get out of this all-or-nothing mindset. Inviting your best friends and their kids over doesn’t mean you have to have snacks made and activities planned and your house clean. Yapping with your friend for an hour doesn’t mean you have to do it over dinner or an expensive coffee.
You can just be with your people. Whether you’re low on bandwidth and need to stack your normal schedule with social time or you just want some low-pressure, cheap ideas to hang out with your friends, there’s something here for every bestie and group.
Meal Prep Date
OK, this is free if you were already planning on meal prepping, but my sister had this great idea: Get together with your besties and either go shopping together or meet in someone’s kitchen with your ingredients, and then get to meal prepping. You can swap recipes, help each other with the parts you don’t like (I will chop all your veggies for you if you’ll cook the meat!), and yap the whole time. At the end, you’ve completed a huge chore that’s going to benefit your whole family, and you got some quality time with your friends.
Help Each Other With A House Project
In a similar vein as the hobby idea, one of my favorite ways to hang out with my people is to offer to come help with something. Organizing a pantry, getting all the laundry done, setting up for a birthday party — whatever it is, it’s always a million times less overwhelming to have a buddy with you. You can each pick something you want to work on in your own house (gardening, pressure washing, painting a room, the options are endless) and plan a day of hanging out and taking care of business together. In a true friends-helping-you-move kind of way, be sure to order pizza.
Run Errands
One thing I miss so much about hanging out with friends as a teenager is how much time we all spent together just running errands. If I had to get my car washed, my bestie came, too. If she needed to get a birthday gift for her dad, I went with her. It was just constant hanging out, and it’s fairly easy to bring some of that back. If you’re heading out for a day of errands, invite a friend to join. She can drive her own car and meet you there so that no one has to stress about time or where they need to be next, and there is truly nothing that makes grocery shopping better than going up and down the aisles with your bestie.
Make Downtime A (Cozy) Group Activity
Coffee & Board Games
It doesn’t have to be a game night with themed meals and drinks and Instagram-worthy decorations — just put on a pot of coffee, pull out the Scrabble board, and hang out. It’s low-stakes, it’s easy, and it still gives you plenty of chances to chat without feeling like you’re missing something in a game. (A puzzle is also a great option!)
Watch A Series Finale Or Special Together
Committing to a weekly TV date can be tough, but if you and your friends all watch the same show — Dancing with the Stars, Traitors, Love is Blind — and can make it work, it’s so fun to get together for the season finale or a special episode. With streaming, it’s even easier because you can save the episode for when you actually have some free time, and all you need is some snackies and a couch.
Bring Your Own Projects
Maybe you’re working on an embroidery project, and your bestie’s trying to finish crocheting a sweater. Maybe both of you have a bunch of printed photos and albums to organize. Maybe you just each want to start a new hobby of watercoloring — whatever it is, do it together. Go to someone’s house, pull out your supplies, and work on whatever makes you happy while sitting next to your BFF.
Be Each Other’s Excuse To Get Up & Out
Three Words: Hot Mom Walks
Some of the best conversations I’ve had with friends happened while we were on walks together. Meet up in the morning with coffee, in the afternoon with sleepy toddlers in the strollers, or after dinner when you need to decompress.
Do YouTube Workouts In Tandem
Gym memberships and classes can be expensive, and finding workout opportunities that fit into everyone’s schedules is so tough. But if you want to work out with your friends, try doing some YouTube workouts together. You can meet up at a time that works for both of you and do them from home with your own equipment, your own pace, and your own yapping between sets.
Coordinate A Co-Working Day At A Coffee Shop
If both you and your friend WFH, why not meet up once a week at a local coffee shop, the library, or somewhere else with Wi-Fi? Not only can it make your workday go by a little faster, but it’s nice to just be in the presence of your friend without feeling like you have to constantly be doing something. And since you’re going to work anyway, it doesn’t take away any time from your day.
So, maybe it’s not as hard as we build it up to be in our heads. And even when it does require extra logistics, it’s always worth it in the end, isn’t it? Bonus: Your kids get to see that friendship doesn’t disappear when you become a mom.
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