Many parents say their children will always come first, including single parents who’ve chosen to reenter the dating scene. However, it’s not necessarily what their partners want to keep hearing repeatedly. There is a difference between your children coming first and your children being your sole consideration in life, and if someone’s in the latter situation, they can’t expect much success on the dating scene. You don’t need or want a relationship? You don’t date, plain and simple. Dating should come with concern for the other person’s needs and wants.
Red flags when dating single parents
While being in the middle of a messy divorce isn’t necessarily their fault, it’s probably not a good time for a new relationship. If they’re going to be busy with court dates, the separation isn’t amicable, and there are hefty legal fees to reckon with, chances are slim they’ll have time and energy left over for you.
They won’t stop talking about their ex
Their ex shouldn’t be the main subject when you’re together. It often means they’re not really over their ex yet, or they’re playing games. Either way, this red flag indicates they aren’t ready to be an available partner. It’s normal to be connected to your children’s other parent, and, hopefully, you’re on good terms, but their ex shouldn’t be all they talk about on date nights. Women, in particular, share that this tends to be one of the biggest red flags when dating a man with kids.
They want to introduce you to the kids right away
It’s natural to be at least a little hesitant to introduce a new partner to your children. As a single parent, their main job is to protect and take care of their children. You may be a good person, but some vetting is needed before letting someone into your kids’ lives.
The importance of being a good listener
Good listening skills are the single most important aspect of availability. They have three components: paying attention to all the information you are receiving, managing any emotional reactions (boredom, frustration) during the conversation, and demonstrating interest and understanding, both verbally and through your body language.
According to a recent survey, 96% of people believe they are good listeners, but they admit they only remember about half of what others say. What’s more, 46% of respondents would rather start giving advice instead of taking the time to comprehend the issue. Expectedly, 18% of respondents shared that people often dropped hints that they could be a better listener.
Dispel myths about dating as a single parent
Single parents are looking for help with their children or a replacement for their ex: one of the biggest myths about dating as a single parent. In fact, over 50% of single parents are looking for someone to spend enjoyable time with. By being available, you’re showing you’re not looking for someone to help shoulder the burden of parenting.
Make time for your new partner
Set time aside to go out and make a corresponding schedule. You should also foresee a slot between parenting duties and the date to wind down and get excited. This might involve putting on your favorite music, taking a bath, forgetting about the child’s meltdown, and focusing on your night out.
Stop feeling guilty
Guilt about wanting to date can negatively impact your new relationship, especially when you don’t manage it healthily. It’s your time to go out, have a drink, and relax. While your children will still be on your mind, do try to look forward to the brief break from parenting.
Recap
- Being a good listener is the best way to be available to a partner
- Ensure them you’re not looking for a co-parent
- Make time for your new partner
- Stop feeling guilty about wanting a life outside parenting.
Disclosure: collaborative post
Thank you for reading – if you enjoyed this content, please consider buying me a coffee here
or browse my Amazon wishlist
I really appreciate your support and it helps to keep the site running and for my time 🙂
Disclaimer: This content was automatically imported from a third-party source via RSS feed. The original source is: https://midwifeandlife.com/how-to-be-an-available-partner-for-someone-even-if-youre-a-single-parent/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-be-an-available-partner-for-someone-even-if-youre-a-single-parent. xn--babytilbehr-pgb.com does not claim ownership of this content. All rights remain with the original publisher.
