Mom Warns Of The “Sixth Grade Social Shake-Up”

It’s back to school season, and while that’s a big deal for every K-12 family, I’d argue it’s an especially big deal for kids entering middle school. Sixth through eighth grade are monumentally transformative years, physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, and otherwise. TikTok creator Nik Bowers (@nikbowers_) specializes in helping moms and tweens get through, and even thrive, in middle school, and she wants parents to know about the “social shake up” that’s coming, especially for young girls.

“Grade six is the friendship scramble where everyone’s figuring out who they are and your daughter’s wondering if she’s enough to be seen,” she explains. “Her interests change. Her friends change. The comparing starts. She notices the popular group more than ever and puberty makes it so much messier.

“There’s going to be rejection. There’s going to be big shifts. There’s going to be comparison. There’s going to be jealousy. There’s going to be ‘why am I not like them; I want to be like this.’ And here’s the kicker: These big changes happen in two to three month cycles. I call them brainstorms, and every middle schooler gets them. Some keep it all inside, some overshare, some have the words, most don’t.

“This is when her confidence needs the most protection because now, how we build her brain now shapes the way she sees herself in every one of these storms. The wrong friendships can rewrite her self worth really fast.”

Bowers offers professional advice on “raising beautiful messes,” but honestly just being aware of these issues ahead of time is a great place to start on the middle school parenting journey. Because everyone knows middle school is a tough age, but I think a lot of us forget the specifics of why it’s hard. We just chalk it all up to hormones without realizing the precise ways those hormones make kids think, act, and doubt themselves.

So junior high parents, remember when your once sweet child starts acting snotty to give them a bit of grace, space… and maybe a hug. They’ll pretend they’re too big for them, and maybe roll their eyes, but they need that connection now more than ever.