You’ve asked your teen three times to make their doctor’s appointment, and they still haven’t done it. Why does it feel like some teens procrastinate so much, and what can you do about it?
Life in general is constantly busy. It can be hard even for adults to keep things balanced. Teens are just starting to learn how to manage all of the demands placed upon them. Being organized and on top of things doesn’t come naturally to everyone.
A 2023 article from Psychology Today suggests that 50% of high school students procrastinate regularly. So if this is what you face with your teen, you’re not alone!
WHY DO SO MANY TEENS PROCRASTINATE?
Kids at younger ages often have chores around the house and manage their school work. But high school and life after high school bring a lot more responsibilities, tasks and obligations for teens to manage. It can be overwhelming, especially for someone who hasn’t had to do these types of things before.
Time management can also be a particular challenge for those who have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and/or problems with executive functioning skills.
While it may seem like your teen is being lazy or defiant, there are many other reasons a teen may procrastinate. Some of these include:
- A fear of failure. Your teen might be concerned that their completed work will not be good enough.
- Negative life events, either at home, at school or within their social circles.
- Mental anguish, such as anxiety, guilt, feeling overwhelmed or experiencing low self-esteem. All teenagers are still developing many emotional skills. Being able to respond to and manage their emotions is important but your teen might still be building up this skill.
- Poor organizational skills that lead to avoidance. Your teen may not yet have strong skills to manage all of their tasks. For some teens, avoidance is easier than creating and/or facing a task list.
- Being easily distracted or having difficulty focusing. We live in a busy world. Tasks can require a big chunk of time to focus on. If your child is easily distracted, that can make completing responsibilities even harder.
HOW YOU CAN HELP YOUR PROCRASTINATOR
Youths learn from their mentors. As parents it is important to be good role models and an example of what it looks like to tackle both desirable and undesirable tasks.
5 THINGS TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR TEEN WHO PROCRASTINATES
Choose a time to talk with your teen about procrastinating when you both are in a good frame of mind. Here are 5 topics to talk about:
- Identify and acknowledge issues with procrastination: missing important deadlines, losing out on opportunities such as purchasing a ticket to an event, the stress and anxiety that can come with an incomplete task.
- Time management skills. Talk about setting priorities and using checklists, calendars, a timer or other strategies to help them make good use of their time. Encourage them to include leisure time on their calendar so they have downtime and their day doesn’t feel like one long list of tasks.
- Proper planning. Discuss setting realistic goals and timeframes for completing tasks. For example, breaking tasks down into smaller steps or achievements often can help teens feel a sense of accomplishment. Setting aside time to focus will help guide direction and purpose.
- Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. For example, “I can’t effectively study for my final, do my day job, and attend this social gathering.” We recommend adding “yet” to the “can’t” statement. “I can’t yet study for my finals; however, I will plan how to accomplish this task and the other things I also want to do.”
- Minimize distractions. It’s important to calm our minds to counteract distractions. Technology is often a big disruption for teens. Encourage them to try techniques such as putting their phone in a different room while they complete an important assignment, using focus mode on their computer, turning off notifications on both their computer and phone, and turning off the TV while studying.
In some situations, teenagers need a little more support. If you have been working with your teen and aren’t seeing any signs of improvement, tutoring, study groups or counseling might help. Start by talking with your child’s primary care physician.
CAN ANY GOOD COME FROM PROCRASTINATING?
Teenagers and young adults are constantly learning through their mistakes. There are times that procrastination can be good. Here are a few examples:
- Procrastination can be motivation to accomplish a task when they’re up against a deadline. It can teach the importance of managing delayed projects and activities.
- Procrastination can encourage creativity. Having more time to work on a project could give them space to explore an idea they might not have with less time.
- Procrastination can lead to streamlined tasks and a clear plan.
It’s also true that some teens (and some adults) work better under pressure. There are people who are able to produce quality work when a deadline is in front of them. If that sounds like your child, give them some space and have a conversation to help them recognize when this could be a strength and when it could backfire on them.
A hard but sometimes effective strategy for parents is to let your teen experience the consequences of procrastination. In some cases, letting your teen fail and experience the negative consequences of procrastination may be the best way for them to learn and become more responsible.
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