Reddit Shares The Dumbest Things “Real Men” Refuse To Do

There is nothing funnier or sadder in this world than a fragile man. I don’t mean a sensitive man, or a medically delicate man. I mean a man who feels he is constantly fighting for his life to maintain some sort of tough guy status. It’s sad because, gosh, what an awful way to live. But it’s funny because these guys are more often than not — it must be said — trash, and watching them twist themselves into pretzels for the most ridiculous reasons is entertaining. Take, for example, a recent post on r/AskReddit asking “what’s the most ridiculous thing you heard a man refuse to do because it was “too feminine” or ‘for girls’?” And boy howdy did the toxic masculinity come rolling in…

Some people get offended when they hear the term “toxic masculinity.”

“So it’s toxic to be masculine?” they’ll ask indignantly. And… no. That’s not how adjectives work.

Masculinity itself isn’t toxic on its own: that’s why we have to add the word “toxic” so you know what we’re talking about. It’s like, if I said “Those are poisonous flowers,” would you think I meant all flowers are poisonous? Obviously not. It’s the same thing with toxic masculinity.

And when toxic masculinity rears its ugly, unmoisturized head? It’s bad… but also, like, tragically funny. The Reddit post spawned more than 11,000 comments. Here were some of the more unhinged answers…

Save another man’s life…

“I worked in a hospital setting, but in the corporate office. We didn’t work with the patients but we had to be trained on safety procedures and the different hospital codes. My boss, who was a nice guy otherwise, said he would refuse to give CPR to another man in an emergency /life or death scenario and I thought it was completely ridiculous.”

Basic hair care & hygiene

“Use conditioner in his hair. His really long, dry as fuck hair.”

“[Use] face wash and a loofa. He said he was a man he doesn’t use shit like that. I was like damn you’re really that fragile: it’s soap.”

“Skin care. I dated someone that worked construction outdoors. A real beer drinking, cigar smoking man’s man. His skin was turning into leather but he refused to moisturize or clean it properly. One day I forcefully implemented an at home self-care spa day on him – mud mask, exfoliation, cleanse, sheet mask, serums, cold eye packs, moisturizer. He had half of Sephora on his face. Afterwards he was radiant and said he felt pretty and liked how nice it smelled. They don’t know until they know!”

Be near anything pink

“[My father-in-law didn’t] let his wife use a pink towel on his sons.”

“We were camping with a group of friends and my friend’s small son was thirsty first thing in the morning, but we hadn’t done dishes yet so we only had three pink cups available. My friend wouldn’t allow his son to drink water from a pink cup so instead he let his son be thirsty.”

Be near tampons or pads

“My brother-in-law refused to buy feminine hygiene products for his wife. I never understood that. I always bought them for my wife I mean it’s obvious they are not for me.”

Sadly, and perhaps unsurprisingly, this came up a lot.

Eat the following foods…

• Yogurt (“Too gay for me.”)
• Fruity drinks
• Quiche (“He called it ‘girly breakfast.’”)
• Chickpeas
• Bananas (“Too phallic.”)
• Ice cream cones (Ditto.)
• Donuts with sprinkles on them
• Soup
• Vegetables (“Vegetables are for women.”)
• Water (“He said he ‘doesn’t need to drink water, men just tough it out.’” Apparently hyrdration is for the girls and the gays…)

Carry or hold the following…

• An umbrella (this came up weirdly a lot)
• Their wife or girlfriend’s purse
• Cats (“He didn’t wanna take his girlfriend’s cat to the vet cause a man holding a cat is feminine.”)
• His own child in public (apparently this is women’s work)

Change diapers

“My boss at a previous job didn’t understand why none of his three children would speak to him. Then after a coworker returned from paternity leave he proudly proclaimed that he had never changed a diaper in his life ‘because it was women’s work’ and I’m guessing that’s where it started.”

This is another one that came up a whole bunch…

Compliment a woman

“My friend’s husband won’t compliment her appearance because ‘it’s gay to notice little shit like that about a woman’…. Fellas is it gay to like women?”

Enjoy poetry

“Writing poetry in English class. Dude refused the assignment, said poetry was for girls.”

Nobody tell Shakespeare or Lord Byron or T.S. Eliot or Basho or Rumi or…

Smile

(Specifically in photos)

Whatever this is…

“[He wouldn’t go] with me on a male friends boat… he said ‘Why would I, as a man, go on another man’s boat?’ WTF?”

Bro, just say you’re jealous of the guy’s boat.

Please enjoy the entire thread: it is truly something special to behold.