“The Motherhood Penalty” Is Real, & It Starts Before You Even Give Birth

So, you’ve made it through the first six weeks of life with a newborn child, and now it’s time for you to return to work. Or rather, since your employer provides little to no paid maternity leave, you are preparing to go back to work sooner than six weeks, whether your body and mind are ready for it — or not!

You’ve figured out child care. You’ve properly stored breast milk or formula for the time you will be away from home. You’ve prepared everything your child needs while somehow figuring out how to meet your own basic needs, like showering… which actually might have to be postponed until after you’ve figured out why your baby won’t stop crying.

And now, you’re expected to resume your job duties as if nothing has changed, even though so much has changed. Because if you don’t have a seamless transition back to work, then upper management might begin to think that you’re less devoted to the company, and that’ll lead to being passed up for a big promotion and/or a salary increase.

If this scenario sounds at all familiar, you are one of many women experiencing what sociologists call “the motherhood penalty.” This penalty refers to the unfair disadvantages that women experience in the workplace when they have children — a phenomenon that puts a taxing toll on many aspects of a mother’s livelihood.

What Moms Are Saying

After talking to fellow mothers, I learned that the motherhood penalty can begin well before the birth of their child. A common grievance was the lack of support from employers, such as failing to provide needed accommodations for pregnant and postpartum employees.

One mother shared her frustration over the lack of paid maternity leave. She anticipated having to use all her sick and vacation time for her leave, and expressed the anxiety she felt over having to eventually return to work. The emotional and financial expense of having to take unpaid time off in the future is a burdensome possibility.

Recently, The New York Times published a video featuring mothers who shared their experiences on this topic. In it, one mother refers to her return to work as a “train wreck,” as she and other mothers share the time constraints of nursing and pumping breast milk, and how it detracts from their work availability.

I’ve heard similar stories from friends who have told me not only how time-consuming expressing breast milk at work is, but also how frustrating it is when an employer does not accommodate designated areas for these mothers. One such friend had male coworkers accidentally walk in while she was pumping, and another hid in a recessed area of the employee break room, as that was her only option.

As for financial costs, it has been well researched that while fathers receive a wage premium after their child is born, mothers experience a disproportionate pay cut. One mother from The New York Times’ video describes going from earning roughly the same wage as her husband after they graduated from college to earning half of his salary after becoming a mother. This story was followed by concerns from mothers over a diminished capability to contribute to their retirement plans. Many spoke about the increasing cost of child care, which can, for some, cost as much as their own salaries.

Unspoken Motherhood Penalties

In an episode of The Hidden Brain titled “Dropping the Mask,” host Shankar Vedantam discusses with Kenji Yoshino of New York University how humans often mask their behaviors to adapt to societal norms. This podcast episode was my introduction to the term “the motherhood penalty,” as Yoshino shared the term’s definition and explained how mothers who return to the workplace often feel the need to mask, or conceal, their motherhood.

Yoshino says that if a mother behaves in a way that is “work devotional” — i.e., working late, not talking about her children, taking on a larger workload — then she will be perceived in a more positive light by her coworkers and employer. He goes on to share the contradiction of society wanting women in the workplace, yet favoring the opposing norm: “If you want to get a promotion, stop talking about your kids.” This dichotomy only goes to highlight the seemingly impossible dilemma that mothers face, which fathers do not.

As conversations about the motherhood penalty continue, impassioned pleas are made for improvements in paid maternity leave, affordable child care, and healthcare access. It’s important to keep sharing these stories and advocating for these improvements. Since the popular saying goes “it takes a village to raise a child,” it’s clear that mothers need all the support they can get.