Trying To Find My Style As a Mum of Three

Yo-yoing with my weight since the birth of my third child (and fourth pregnancy) my ‘Pandemic Baby’ Florence born back in November 2021 (which, granted, feels like several lifetimes ago) has meant my personal style has very often been replaced with comfort leisurewear and most importantly, clothes like skater style dresses and long cardis which can effectively hide and disguise my body. 

As much as I’d like to embrace my ever-changing figure, affected in part by medication I took for a year, stopped two months ago, I struggle daily to reconcile my old body with my new one, which my doctor, as much as I, would like me to lose weight from. I’m a small build with hourglass curves that have become a little too curvy for my frame. No biggie but something I’m determined to address. 

So that’s been the plan the past few months. I’ve hired a brilliant PT, James, twice weekly at a gym a literal stone’s throw (and walk through a wood) away, who has taught me the importance of weight lifting, and I’ve joined a swanky hotel gym, pool and spa adjacent to my daughter’s new pre-school, which makes me feel like I’m on vacay every time I swim there (70 lengths is my definition of a successful visit) and nothing feels more relaxing on a cellular level to me than time in their sauna and steam rooms. This was a treat to myself for working hard writing a book last year whilst juggling three kids and my digital business. 

I realise what a privilege it is to have access to all of the above. This is the year I’m prioritising myself and widening my definition of self care from watching a reality dating show once the kids are asleep to looking after my physical and mental health through exercise, rest and relaxation (something we mums aren’t known for). 

In partnership with my more exercise-fixated self is an on-going but stricter commitment to a low (not no) carb diet for at least 90 percent of the time, limiting lactose where possible too, which seems to aggravate me. The cheesecake you see above enjoyed with my beautiful and always stylish friend Rachael (of Meadow Farm luxury candles) at Betty’s accounted for the other 10% of the time that week,m and was definitely not carb or lactose free! Moderation folks, even when it comes to moderation itself.  

It’s not easy, certainly not as I approach 45 next month, to lose weight like I used to. A private GP specialising in menopause informed me that according to a scan and lack of symptoms, I haven’t started peri yet but verified that I am indeed sensitive to any hormonal changes and always have been (true) and recommended a new progesterone for me to try: Slynd to stop my periods altogether this time, and thus the PMDD which accompanies it, which seems to be working well. Unlike previous brands of progesterone, this one doesn’t tend to promote weight gain either so yay for that (and not feeling nay every month to boot).

So back to finding even a semblance of style. Thanks to Vinted I’ve discovered some of my beloved and slightly despairingly and possibly inaccurately described, ‘vintage Topshop’ finds I’ve bought as a homage to my old, much younger self like the starry dress pictured here, and I’ve returned to old faithfuls such as Hobbs, M&S, Sezane and Reiss amongst others for Peter Pan collared blouses, a spot of tartan (dresses and ponchos), a little leopard print (coat and tees), fitted timeless coats in raspberry, black and olive (my go-to shades as someone olive skinned) and the odd designer piece like this LV pink and white scarf I picked up a couple of winters ago.

I have the full intention to add brighter hues and bolder patterned prints to balance the mostly black and monochrome pieces which dominate my wardrobe but not just yet. I’m going to wait until I lose more weight and feel confident enough to branch out. This is not a reflection of others’ style choices just my own. I always spend a bit of time on camera with TV adding 10 pounds if not more which impacts my style choices too.

I did buy some magnificent ‘Bezzie’ metallic pewter leather laced ankle boots from Moda In Pella a few weeks ago (because footwear is always a good idea) and plan to purchase a few pairs in other colours because they’re not only comfy but chic, and I know I’ll wear them every A/W forever more. They really are statement boots that make me smile, even on the days I’m feeling frustrated with my body/outfit.

Hopefully this slightly braver ‘not black’ style choice will extend to the rest of my wardrobe soon.

Day by day, step by shiny step!