Hegseth Wants Husbands To Vote For Their Wives — Here’re Some Other Tasks They Can Manage

Last week, CNN aired an interview with Doug Wilson, co-founder of the Communion of Reformed Evangelical Churches and minister of Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho. During the seven-minute segment, Wilson the espoused core tenants of his ministry, which include…

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth — who is affiliated with Christ Church and has expressed admiration for Wilson — retweeted and apparently endorsed the contents of the segment with the message “All of Christ for All of Life.”

The interview and the thumbs-up from the sec-def is, of course, making waves, and the part that seems to be prompting the most kerfuffle is Wilson’s comments made about disenfranchising women.

The idea behind this ideology is that each household should get a vote, and that men, as the heads of households, should have the final say in the matter. Admittedly, it’s a little confusing that men consider themselves heads of household when Wilson himself described women as “chief executive of the home.”

But I’m sure that’s just my silly lady brain not being able to grasp the deep intellectual rigor of their stance. Also no word in this clip on what voting rights should be afforded to single women, widows, or adult men who still live with their parents. But I’m sure they’ll come up with a solution that’s fair for everyone…

And, honestly, what a great idea!

Surely, this is not pure misogynistic trash. This is definitely not a desire to subjugate women into second-class citizenship. These aren’t fragile, hateful men who saw The Handmaid’s Tale and thought, “Yes! That, but I get to be Joseph Fiennes!” No, no. You judgmental women, you! This is clearly a desire deep within the men to become more intimately involved in the demands of running a household. We’ve been asking for this for years and it’s so encouraging to see them, as a group, finally take an interest in taking on more of the mental load.

Admittedly, it’s a little odd that they would want to start with something as heady as voting. Slow down there, buckaroo! But since you’re so intent on being mommy’s big helper, here are some household tasks you can start with and then build your way up to voting for us.

Laundry

Of course, we’re not just talking about the washing, drying, sorting, folding, and putting away. (P.S. If you need to know where the washing machine is, don’t worry! We can show you the way!) This will also include knowing whose clothes belong to whom and keeping track of what needs to be replaced and what size everyone wears.

Feeding everyone

As with laundry, this task does not stop and end with cooking, serving, and cleaning up after dinner. This will include grocery shopping and menu planning. Don’t worry, though, Pete Hegseth and Co.! It’s oh-so-simple; women can do it. We do it all the time and we can’t even be trusted to vote right. Surely you’ll use your big man brain to manage this, no problem.

Appointments

This includes doctors, dentists, any kind of special service or therapy, on top of extracurricular activities and meetings with teachers. I’d recommend that any would-be head of household start slowly, perhaps by managing their own appointments (men, being the more logical beings, will probably be better at this anyway: It’s a wonder so many of them have their wives do this on their behalf in the first place).

Once you master these tasks, we can discuss the next step, which is also managing everyone’s social calendars and family communication. We truly believe this is the year you can remember your own mother’s birthday and *fingers crossed* even get her a present all by yourself!

There’s more, of course, but get a handle on some of this and then, maybe, you’ll be ready for voting

Because, surely, what you’re interested in is the good of the household. This definitely isn’t about creating a system where you hold all the power but handle none of the daily responsibilities.

Of course, that leaves a fine Christian man like Pete Hegseth with a real problem on his hands: Does he get to vote for his wife and two ex-wives? Is he a candidate to vote on behalf of the five women he’s admitted to having affairs with? That’s just so much household responsibility! Poor Pete! Better get started on that laundry, buddy. We believe in you, fearless head of household!