Would You Take A “Griefcation”? Psychologists Explain The Pros & Cons

The end of a marriage, a friendship breakup, or the passing of a loved one — grief comes in many forms, unfortunately. In a recent story for Vogue, writer Leslie Hsu Oh dove into the ways travel might actually be a healing step in the grieving journey. So, we asked psychologists and grief experts: Is traveling while grieving — also known as a “griefcation” — right for everyone? And how do you know whether to book a restorative, relaxing trip or one packed to the brim with activities?

A griefcation is exactly what it sounds like: a trip you take while you are grieving in some way, in the hopes that you will feel like you’re getting a bit of a break, or maybe a breakthrough in your journey. What that looks like can vary widely, Hsu Oh says. “Commemorative grief travel” to your loved one’s favorite place or to spread ashes is a bit more commonplace. But you could also book a “contemplative” trip where you set aside time to meditate, journal, or read. Perhaps you’re someone who processes things by being physical, so you could opt to take a backpacking trip, a challenging hike, or climb a mountain (you badass, you).

So, what do experts think of the idea?

Is traveling while grieving a good idea?

No two people grieve the same, so the answer will be different for everyone. For some, it’s a resounding yes.

“Many grieving people feel a desire to get away for a while, whether to escape the crushing pressure of ‘getting back to normal’ that society often puts on grievers, the loneliness of a house without a loved one, or to help themselves feel less stuck,” says grief coach, author, and speaker Shelby Forsythia. “For me, grief travel has been a way for me to reduce the volume of my normal daily tasks — like work, errands, and chores — and listen more closely to what my grief wants and needs. It’s also been a tremendous way to meet people from all over the world with losses similar to mine, while doing shared activities like horseback riding, seeing shows, dining together, and taking memorial walks in honor of our people who’ve died.”

Of course, there are a lot of logistics to consider when planning a trip, including determining how much time you can take off, arranging care for any children or pets, and more. Consider how much of that you can take on right now and scale your trip accordingly. (Forsythia says a staycation, doing something an hour’s drive away, or visiting a friend can be a good happy medium.)

“While there is no way to know for sure if a travel experience is right for you, the fact that you are considering it means you need something other than your current environment. If it involves excessive planning, layovers, and hours at an airport, you may want to decline. However, a long weekend can provide the healing, relaxation, and restoration that you need,” says Dr. Michele Leno, a licensed psychologist and host of Mind Matters with Dr. Michele show. She says vacationing near home allows you to still feel close to loved ones and avoid travel exhaustion, while still giving your brain a change of scenery.

Ultimately, this is the best tip for deciding if traveling while grieving is right for you: “The body usually knows,” says Thomas Westenholz, a couples and individual therapist. “Listen to how your nervous system reacts when you imagine the trip.”

What type of griefcation is right for you?

Grief travels with us, so there’s no “vacation” from it really (and these experts agree that if you expect this vacay to remove you from it, you will likely be disappointed). But what could you do with your trip that would give your mind and body what they need most right now?

You could start gathering ideas by reading articles, listening to podcast interviews, or skimming books on grief travel, Forsythia says. Westenholz says whatever you do, it shouldn’t be about trying to outrun your grief, but holding space for it instead.

“Mine would include time in nature — mountains or ocean — and places that help regulate the nervous system,” he says. Some of his other ideas include bringing a journal or recording voice notes to express whatever comes up for you on your trip, and doing some sort of ritual, like leaving something behind there or lighting a candle for your loved one. And he’d incorporate some kind of movement, be it hiking, dancing, or another way to be active.

As the Vogue article mentioned, organized grief trips and grief cruises are a thing — Forsythia happened to be a speaker on the ship mentioned in that story. If you want to have an itinerary laid out for you and know you have concierge support, and a crowd of guests feeling the same way as you, they’re a solid option.

Whatever you do, just be sure you don’t overbook or overextend yourself, Westenholz says. “Book accommodation, transport, and one or two nourishing activities. But leave room for softness, days where you do nothing, moments to cry, write, or connect with nature. Choose places that don’t overstimulate, but also don’t isolate. Grief needs gentle company, not a jam-packed itinerary.”